


Only Unto Him

by disarm_d



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe, Harlequin, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Virgin Bride AU, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-16
Updated: 2008-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:09:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4478756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disarm_d/pseuds/disarm_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a Prince(ish person), Spencer was meant to be pure in <i>every</i> way. He didn't know what to expect from an arranged marriage — but certainly not Brendon's incessant grabby hands. Who did this bouncy, mysterious stranger think he was? AND ARE SEXY TIMEZ EVER GOING TO HAPPEN? [Hint: it is quite likely they are.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Unto Him

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to gobsmackit for betaing. All the dashes are gone now, I swear! Thanks to harriet_vane for getting me going writing this in the first place, and for writing my amazing summary (which I ended up butchering a little bit. ... SORRY!).
> 
> Thanks to sociofemme for holding my hand while I write this. The story is a million times better because of her, but also, I just really had more fun writing it thanks to her. Thanks for all the amazing suggestions, ideas, and corrections. And for coming up with the title! ♥

"You're kidding, right?" Ryan asks.

"Does it look like I'm kidding?" Spencer answers. He keeps grinding his teeth, even though all that does is give him a headache. He certainly hopes it doesn't look like he's kidding.

"But why would they want to marry _you_?" Ryan asks.

Spencer grits his teeth and rubs his forehead. "They don't want to marry me, chowderhead. I'm just the eldest child. Why are you so incredibly mentally deficient when _everything is going to hell_?"

Ryan rolls his eyes. "Don't blame me, dude. I'm not the one who set up your arranged marriage."

"Well, I'm not the one who set it up either, but I _am_ the one who has to get married, so, just. Ryan! I have to get _married_." Spencer rubs harder at his forehead.

"It's okay," Ryan says, patting his shoulder awkwardly. "I mean, you knew this was coming, right? It was just matter of time."

"More time," Spencer wails, then resumes rubbing at his forehead.

Ryan pats his shoulder again. Ryan's shit at this comforting business. Spencer kind of wishes that they weren't trying to have this conversation in the middle of the marketplace, but Ryan had wanted to buy scarves — to buy _more_ scarves — and so here they are. Spencer slouches, trying to hide behind the corner of one of the vendors.

"Maybe it won't be that bad," Ryan says. "Sometimes people like being married."

"Which people?" Spencer asks. "People who aren't shipped across to another country as a _token_ to prevent a war. Those people? Yeah. They might like being married."

"Who are you getting married to, anyway?" Ryan asks.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Spencer says, opening his mouth wide and cracking his jaw. "Let's just go back to the castle."

Spencer looks around, then calls out, "Zack!"

Zack turns then walks toward them. "Ready to head home?" he asks.

Spencer nods, thinking cranky thoughts about how it isn't going to be his home for much longer.

\--

~~

\--

It isn't like Spencer didn't know this was coming. He hasn't been allowed to leave the house without Zack there to chaperone since he was 13. Zack sleeps in what is technically Spencer's bedroom, though there's a half-wall and a screen separating their sleeping areas. When Ryan got to head into town by himself, Spencer had to stay home. All to make sure that his reputation would still be intact when it came time to marry, because all possible roads led straight to an arranged marriage.

He knew that this was how it was going to go, but as he sits in the carriage, watching trees pass along the side of the road, he thinks that maybe he wasn't quite as prepared as he thought.

"How much longer 'til we get there?" Ryan asks.

Spencer shrugs, looking over at Zack.

Zack says, " _I've_ never been there before, how would I know?"

Spencer is bringing three huge trunks, Zack, and Ryan with him to Brendon's manor. He doesn't know what people think about him bringing Ryan along because he didn't ask. He said that Ryan was coming ("I need him," Spencer said. "He helps me with things."), then stared at people until they stopped talking every time someone tried to object. It's one thing to have to leave his home and his family; Spencer isn't leaving Ryan as well.

"It'll probably be like twenty more hours," Spencer says. "Brendon probably has some shittyass manor in the middle of the forest somewhere, and we're probably going to have to get out and walk to it, because there probably aren't even roads leading there."

"Keep up the positive thinking," Zack says, giving Spencer a thumbs up.

Brendon isn't a king and he isn't even the eldest. He's the only unmarried child of the King in the neighbouring kingdom and Spencer has to marry him. Spencer doesn't know if Brendon would prefer to marry one of Spencer's sisters, doesn't know what Brendon thinks of this whole situation. He doesn't know how much longer it is going to take to get there and he has to pee.

Getting married sucks.

\--

~~

\--

Brendon's manor is another five hours away, but it isn't actually in the middle of nowhere, and there is, in fact, a road leading up to it.

A dark-haired guy is standing in front of the manor to greet them. He seems nice enough, so Spencer gives a little wave as he walks around the carriage to pick up his trunks.

Spencer pulls out one of his trucks, setting it on the ground, before freezing and doubling back. He walks back to the front of the carriage and asks the guy, "Are you Brendon?" worried that he's made a horrible first impression already.

The guy laughs, and says, "I'm Jon. Brendon's just— he'll be back in time for the wedding."

Spencer shrugs, then waves at Jon. "I'm Spencer." He looks around, gesturing to Zack then Ryan. "He's Zack, and he's Ryan. I'm just going to get my stuff, and then— I dunno, whatever's supposed to happen next."

"I'll show you to the master bedroom," Jon says. "That's where you and Brendon will be sleeping. We've been airing it out. Brendon hasn't been sleeping in that room, because, you know. How he isn't married yet, or whatever. His family is super traditional, and I guess they think that you're not supposed to sleep in your marriage bed until you're married. Brendon might have been choosing the overly literal interpretation of that."

Spencer stares at Jon, blankly.

Jon stares back. "You know, _sleep_ in your marriage bed..."

Spencer blinks.

Ryan comes up behind him, and says to Jon, "He never gets jokes like that, don't worry about it. They've been keeping him real locked up."

Spencer elbows Ryan and mutters, "Shut up." Jon's a stranger; it's weird to talk to him about stuff like that.

\--

Jon shows Ryan and Zack to their rooms, then shows Spencer where the master bedroom is. He doesn't come inside with Spencer, just points and says, "Third door on the right." Spencer is grateful; it would be really weird to be in what is meant to be his bedroom with a stranger.

"Thanks," Spencer says.

"No problem," Jon says.

"So, what do you do here?" Spencer asks. "Are you like, head of household?"

"Kind of," Jon says. "We don't have a huge staff here, so it's not like I spend a lot of time trying to organize people. Plus, Brendon's here by himself, so I'd say mostly I'm here to keep him from going stir crazy."

"Just Brendon?" Spencer asks.

"Yeah," Jon says. "The rest of his siblings are already married. I think his parents thought that he'd be married a little sooner when they sent him over here, but we've been living here for more than a year. Brendon's pretty social; he likes being around people and I think he'd go insane if he had to stay here for long without company."

Spencer nods.

"I'll eat dinner with him when he's here, but most nights he goes out. He knows a lot of people around here," Jon explains. "I think— Well, I mean, it wasn't exactly— But, I do think it'll be good for him to get married. More bodies around the house."

"Um, okay," Spencer says. "I'm going to go unpack now." He waves goodbye to Jon as he starts walking for what is now his bedroom.

\--

~~

\--

Spencer piles his trunks in one corner of the room, and then gives up on unpacking. It's weird being in this new room, so Spencer just takes out the clothes he's meant to wear for the wedding — not that they aren't already horribly creased — and walks back downstairs.

He's looking for Ryan, but he finds Brendon instead.

He almost walks right by him. Jon is talking to a guy who's wearing dirty clothing, and Spencer just assumes he's a member of the staff. Jon sees Spencer passing though, and calls out, "Spencer!"

Spencer walks over, and Jon says to the guy, "This is Spencer."

"Hey," the guys says, giving a little wave. "I'm Brendon. Your um, your new marriage partner?" He makes a face after saying it, and if he weren't a stranger, and if Spencer weren't grinding his teeth so hard that it takes him a minute to unlock his jaw, he might have laughed.

Spencer raises a hand as well. "Hi. I'm... Spencer."

Brendon takes a step forward, then another half step before he seems to change his mind. He pauses for a moment before finally taking a few more steps until he's right in front of Spencer. He reaches out, and Spencer realizes that he means to shake Spencer's hand a half second too late. By the time he has extended his own hand, Brendon has pulled back. Spencer starts to drop his hand just as Brendon begins reaching forward and they miss each other again.

Finally, Brendon just reaches out both hands and leans in for a quick hug, their bodies hardly coming any closer together than when they started.

Brendon scampers back afterward, and Spencer looks at the ground, rubbing the back of his neck.

"So, um, it's nice to meet you," Spencer says.

"You too," Brendon says. "I was just riding, so, I should go get washed up for the, ah. For the wedding."

"Okay," Spencer says. "Uh, see you there then."

Brendon turns and walks down the hall. Spencer is still feeling a little stunned, so it takes him a minute to do the same.

"It's going to be okay," Jon says just before Spencer turns away, but Spencer forgets to answer him.

\--

~~

\--

Spencer gets married in front of at least one hundred people he doesn't know. Ryan and Zack sit in the front row, and each time Spencer feels like throwing up, he looks over at them for support.

The ceremony seems to drone on indefinitely, but when the Minister says, "You may now kiss," Spencer wishes it had lasted a little longer.

Brendon just leans in and pecks him quickly though. Everyone starts to clap, so Spencer supposed that that was all they had to do. It seems a little anticlimactic, after all that.

\--

The wedding party lasts for hours, and Spencer hasn't had this much to drink since that time that Zack was sick and sleeping in another room, and Ryan sneaked into Spencer's room with a bottle of ale.

They were drinking to see what it felt like, though, and tonight Spencer is drinking because it seems like a better idea than not drinking.

He's starting to get tired. He is sitting with Ryan and Zack because he doesn't know anyone else here. He doesn't know anyone, but Brendon does. Brendon is always talking with someone, always laughing and gesturing and occupied. Ryan keeps a running commentary of everyone that walks past their table, which Spencer appreciates. Mostly he just wants to go to bed. He doesn't know how that works though, if he's allowed to just walk over there or if he has to check with Brendon first.

Spencer tries to catch Brendon's eye, but Brendon's always occupied, and screw that, anyway. It's Spencer's bedroom too, now. He can go to bed if he wants to.

\--

They walk Ryan to his room first, since it's the closest.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this," Spencer says, standing in the hallway as Ryan opens the door to his new room.

"The only thing you'd have to be sorry about is if you'd left me behind," Ryan says.

Zack walks Spencer to his new room, and says, "I'm just down the hall. If you yell real loud, I'm sure I'll be able to hear you, and I promise I'll come running," before leaving Spencer alone in the room.

Spencer walks around the room, slowly, looking around carefully. He likes his old bedroom better; this room has obviously never been lived in and the air smells musty.

He's wearing a million layers from the wedding, and he starts stripping down, getting ready for bed. He's wearing pants and an undershirt when the door opens, but he would rather have still been fully dressed.

"There you are," Brendon says. "You disappeared."

"I'm here," Spencer says. His overshirt is still in his hands, and his jacket is nearby in a pile on the floor, but it would probably be more awkward to start putting them back on than to just stay like this.

He picks up his jacket and hangs it over the back of a chair. He turns again, facing Brendon. They stand awkwardly.

"So did you enjoy the. Wedding?" Brendon asks, grimacing a little.

"Sure," Spencer says. He did not, in fact, enjoy the wedding, but whatever. He'll complain about it to Ryan tomorrow.

Brendon sighs. "You want to just get this out of the way?" he asks.

"Okay," Spencer says, plucking at the hem of his undershirt with his fingers. He's got a pretty good idea of what 'this' is, even though Ryan is the only one who would ever actually tell him what _actually_ happened during sex. Ryan was allowed to go to into town by himself, but he always chased after women, so he wasn't much help in telling Spencer what he should expect from sex with Brendon. Plus, Ryan knew he wasn't supposed to be telling Spencer about stuff like that, so he was always vague and sketchy about the details.

Brendon climbs onto the bed, lying down and folding his hands behind his neck to prop his head up. He's still fully clothed; he didn't change into his sleep clothes, so 'this' definitely doesn't mean sleeping, not that Spencer really thought that was a possibility. Brendon looks at Spencer, waiting pointedly until Spencer realizes that he's supposed to climb onto the bed as well.

Spencer walks around to the other side, sitting down on the bed and then pulling his legs up. He scoots backwards until his back rests against the wall. It's weird to lie down, even though it is a bed. Brendon is right there beside him.

Brendon pushes himself up as well. Spencer is looking down at his hands, so he doesn't notice that Brendon's leaning in until his face is right there in front of Spencer's. Spencer lifts his head and waits. He knows how this goes. Ryan showed him how to kiss one evening when they were lying behind a bush, just out of Zack's line of sight. Brendon leans in even closer, and Spencer tries to keep his lips soft, because Ryan said it was better like that.

Brendon doesn't kiss like Ryan though. He kisses Spencer's lips then starts pushing his tongue inside of Spencer's mouth, grabbing for the hem of Spencer's shift and tugging upwards, all the while moving his body so that he can climb on top of Spencer.

Spencer turns his head to the side because Brendon's tongue is thick in his mouth and the temptation to bite down is really strong, and Spencer knows that's not something he's supposed to do. Brendon starts kissing down his neck. His lips are all wet and his stubble rubs against Spencer's skin, and Spencer wants to cringe, to pull his shoulder up to his ear so that his neck would be protected.

He jerks away a little, and Brendon lifts his head up. Spencer hasn't lifted his arms, so Brendon isn't having much luck pulling off his shirt.

"Look, I'm pretty tired and kind of drunk," Brendon says. "How about you just suck me off, and we can do the rest another time."

Spencer stares up at him. He clenches his jaw and tries not to grind his teeth too noisily.

"It's not like anyone's going to know if we don't _technically_ consummate the marriage," Brendon continues. "Is that cool?"

Without waiting for Spencer to answer, Brendon climbs off of Spencer, flopping down onto his back. He reaches out, grabbing Spencer's arm and trying to pull Spencer on top of him and, "Stop," Spencer blurts out, shaking off Brendon's hands. "Just— stop."

He moves as far away from Brendon as he can get without falling off the bed, and pulls his shirt back down. Spencer takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He knows that they have to do this tonight, even if he's not entirely sure what Brendon's asking for. He just needs a moment before he can start figuring out what it is.

Spencer looks sideways, trying to think of something to say. The moment stretches on too long though, and before he comes up with anything, Brendon snorts loudly and says, "Whatever. Just forget it." He pulls of his jacket and shirts with uncoordinated tugs, then wriggles out of his pants, dropping everything over the side of the bed and then crawling under the blankets. He pulls the blankets up to his chest and rolls over, rolls away from Spencer and stays like that.

Spencer sits for a long time, but Brendon doesn't move.

Eventually, he lets himself slide down the bed until he's lying down. He tucks one hand under the pillow, but doesn't climb under the blankets because Brendon's _right there_ and anyway it's not that cold in the room.

\--

~~

\--

It takes Spencer a long time to fall asleep, so even though it's late in the morning when he finally wakes, he doesn't feel well-rested.

Brendon is gone.

Spencer puts away the clothes from the wedding and starts unpacking one of his trucks and hanging the clothes in the big dresser by the window. It's empty. There are several other chests of drawers around the room, and Spencer isn't sure if Brendon wants to use this one or if he'll put his stuff in one of the others, or if he's just going to keep it in whatever room he's been staying in. Regardless, Spencer doesn't unpack fully, just hangs some of the things that he's likely to wear in the next few days. There's still plenty of room if Brendon wants space to put his own things.

\--

Spencer finds Ryan reading in his bedroom, and they go downstairs together in search of breakfast.

Spencer has no idea where the kitchen might be. The manor isn't gigantic, but it's pretty big and there are confusing hallways that lead off in all directions.

They find Jon before they find the kitchens, and he shows them where to go.

Spencer doesn't want to say anything, so he's glad when Ryan asks, "Where's Brendon?"

"Last I knew, he went riding," Jon says. "So, he's either still out, or he's gone into town. Brendon comes and goes a lot."

Ryan makes a little _hmm_ noise. His face is totally blank so it's not rude, but it still somehow manages to be pointed, and Spencer is so, so glad that Ryan agreed to come with him.

\--

Jon shows Spencer and Ryan around the kitchens. "The cook usually doesn't get here until late afternoon," Jon says. "But there are usually leftovers and stuff. You probably wouldn't have to cook anything if you didn't want to."

Spencer's just glad that the kitchen is set up so that he can find food for himself and he doesn't have to wait around for some predetermined meal time.

\--

Spencer spends a lot of time wandering around the manor, hoping that if he gets more familiar with the layout, he will stop feeling so homesick.

\--

Brendon doesn't come home for dinner, so they eat without him. Jon doesn't seem concerned about his absence.

"Brendon knows a lot of people," he says. "He often eats somewhere else."

Ryan rolls his eyes, peeking at Spencer from underneath his bangs. Spencer grins back, then moves his spoon in circles, accidentally splashing some of his soup over the side of the bowl.

\--

Brendon still isn't home, and Spencer is tired, so he just goes to bed by himself. He is almost asleep by the time Brendon gets in. Brendon undresses quietly, then crawls into bed.

He whispers, "Sorry I was gone so long. The horse got sick so I couldn't ride back from Patrick's, and it's a long walk back home."

Spencer lies on his side and pretends to be asleep.

\--

~~

\--

When Spencer walks down to breakfast the next morning, Brendon's sitting at the table.

"Morning," Spencer says, sitting across from him.

"Jon and Ryan went into town," Brendon says. "I think Jon said that he'd show Ryan around."

"Ryan'll be grateful for that," Spencer says.

"I think they said they were going to try and find a new carpet for the sitting room," Brendon says.

Spencer can't remember what the old carpet looks like, but he warns, "Don't throw out the old one until you see what they come home with."

"Oh?"

"I don't know about Jon, but — I'd just wait and see what they bring back, is all," Spencer says. "It's your sitting room though."

"Our sitting room," Brendon says.

Spencer hums neutrally. It isn't 'their' sitting room, and Brendon knows that just as well as Spencer does.

\--

The rug they bring home is green and brown, and patterned with a whole bunch of blobs that vaguely resemble birds. There's a light purple stitching that is probably supposed to look like clouds, but looks more like waves of water to Spencer.

Spencer leaves Ryan, Jon, and Brendon in the sitting room. He doesn't care one way or another how the room is decorated.

\--

Spencer sits on a chair in the bedroom, reading a book that Ryan lent him. Ryan reads more than Spencer does. It works best if Spencer reads Ryan's favorite books though, because it's either that or have Ryan try to explain the book himself.

Spencer turns the page, then lifts his hand and rubs at his eyes. It's not too late, but Spencer is having trouble focusing on the page. It has been a long few days.

He's glad when the door opens and Brendon walks inside because it means he doesn't have to wait up any later.

He walks over to the small bookshelf just beside the chair to put his book away.

Brendon says, "You can go look at the room in the morning. We've still got the old rug if you want to change it back to how it was."

Spencer starts to turn around, saying, "I don't—" before he trails off. Brendon has taken off his clothes. He's shirtless, entirely naked except for small white shorts that probably have half the material that Spencer's underwear do. Spencer flinches at the sudden sight of all that skin, then looks down at the ground. "Care," he finishes, awkwardly.

"I think the new one kind of matches the drapes," Brendon says. "Jon really likes it. Ryan, too, I think. It's kind of hard to tell if he's actually enthusiastic about things."

"Yeah," Spencer says, staring pointedly at the ground. He's never been in the room with someone who isn't fully clothed before. He doesn't know how Brendon can just stand there like that, mostly naked, like it doesn't matter.

"What's up?" Brendon asks. His voice has lost some of the cheerfulness that he had been forcing all day.

"Nothing," Spencer says quickly, still looking anywhere but at Brendon.

Brendon is silent for a long moment.

"Let's just go to bed," Spencer says, twisting his fingers into the hem of his shirt and looking down at his hands so that he doesn't have to see Brendon.

"This isn't what I want any more than it is what you want," Brendon says. "I wouldn't sleep here except that the servants will talk, and it will get back to my parents, so I'm sorry that it's so fucking offensive to even look at me, but we just have to wait it out for a few months until all the deals are settled and whatever else it is this marriage was supposed to bring about, and then I'll go back to my own room, and you can stay here, and you won't have to look at me anymore." Brendon is yelling by the end.

Spencer grits his teeth together and tries to hold his tongue, tries not to start yelling as well. Brendon still isn't wearing a shirt. Spencer can see the way his ribs move as he takes in huge breathfuls of air.

"This wasn't my idea," Spencer says, then immediately knows that it was the wrong thing to say.

For a moment, Spencer thinks that Brendon is going to start yelling again, but instead he snaps, "I know," and then pinches his lips together. He walks over to the bed, flinging the blankets back before lying down.

Spencer still stands in the center of the room. He knows that Brendon isn't looking at him, but still he feels embarrassed as he starts undressing. He'd go to bed without undressing, but his clothes are dirty and he knows that he can't. He pulls off his shirt, keeping his bare back turned toward the bed, and slides on a long nightshirt, tugging his breaches down afterward.

He walks over to the bed, hesitating before climbing up. Brendon is lying the same way he always lies, curled in a ball, facing away from Spencer's side of the bed. His shoulders are tight and Spencer can see the tense line of his back, his naked back, above the edge of the sheets. Spencer wishes that there was somewhere else that he could sleep. He considers just lying down on top of the comforters, but the window is open, and Spencer knows that he'll wake up cold through the night.

He pulls the blankets back carefully and tries to get into bed with the least movement possible. He knows that Brendon is still awake and Spencer feels overly conscious of every movement he makes. He keeps as close to the edge of the bed as possible; he doesn't want to accidentally touch Brendon.

Once Spencer has settled, Brendon reaches over and puts out the light. The moon is bright, and once Spencer's eyes adjust to the dark, it's easy to make out the forms of objects in the room, the desk pushed up against the wall, the coats hanging on the back of the door. The smooth line of Brendon's shoulders, and the shape his body makes underneath the blanket.

\--

~~

\--

Spencer appreciates having Jon and Ryan there at breakfast because it means that he can make conversation without actually having to talk with Brendon.

Zack usually eats earlier than them. Spencer doesn't know exactly what he does all day long, but he seems to be keeping himself busy.

Spencer is sitting in the garden with Ryan when he finally sees Zack. He and Ryan have a pile of books beside him, but they're mostly just lying in the sun and chatting quietly. Spencer sits up when he sees Zack, waving.

Zack walks over.

"What are you up to?" Spencer asks.

"Big plans, little man," Zack says. "Big plans."

Spencer nods solemnly.

"How's married life treating you?" Zack asks.

Spencer shrugs. He clenches his teeth together, then forces himself to take a breath.

"It's okay," he says. "I don't think Brendon likes me very much."

Zack raises an eyebrow.

"He hasn't done anything," Spencer says quickly. The last thing he needs is for Zack to have a 'talk' with Brendon. "I think he's just pretty frustrated with me a lot. We're frustrated with each other a lot," Spencer corrects himself. "It's okay though."

"Spence, has he been trying to push you into doing something that you—"

"No," Spencer says quickly. "No, I don't think that he really— because we haven't actually, ah. We haven't even— we haven't," Spencer says, looking down at the ground. "Seriously though, it's fine."

Ryan starts muttering vaguely threatening comments about how he knows where Brendon's food is kept. Spencer rolls his eyes and changes the topic.

\--

Dinner is a big noisy event. Brendon has a bunch of friends over, and Spencer still doesn't know most of the people at the table. He thinks he remembers the pregnant lady as being named Ashlee, but he can't remember what her husband's name was, and he can't think of the names of either of the other people sitting across the table from him.

Spencer sits beside Ryan and they talk mostly with each other, though sometimes Ryan also turns to his other side to repeat his jokes so that Jon can hear.

\--

Spencer kills as much time as he can before finally heading up to bed. It's late, and he's hoping that maybe Brendon will already be in bed by the time Spencer gets there.

Instead, Brendon is slouching on the chair, his legs crossed.

"Hey," Brendon says, sitting upright when Spencer enters the room.

"Hey," says Spencer.

Brendon stands up and walks toward Spencer. Brendon opens his mouth, but he seems to have trouble finding the other words. Finally, he says, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too," Spencer says. "It's been stressful for everyone, so let's just forget about it." He forces a quick smile for Brendon, then starts to walk toward the dresser where he keeps his sleeping clothes.

As he turns away, however, Brendon reaches out, catching his elbow and stopping him.

He lets go quickly, but says, "Just— wait, okay?"

Spencer stops, sticking his hip out to the side as he stands and waits.

"I talked with Zack," Brendon says.

Spencer starts trying to talk, but Brendon continues.

"No, it wasn't bad," Brendon says. "He just told me, I mean. He said that, he explained how, um. It's just I hadn't realized that, that you, ah. I didn't know that you were still, you know?"

"That I'm still what?" Spencer asks.

"I didn't realize that getting married was such a, a... A big thing for you," Brendon says, gesturing randomly.

Spencer gives him a skeptical look. "What?"

 

"I just didn't know that you hadn't, I mean. That you'd _never_ —" Brendon raises his hand and runs his finger through his hair, tugging hard at the tips. "I don't know why I didn't think of that, but anyway. I didn't mean to act like an asshole, I just didn't even consider what it would be like for you if you'd never, you know. Been _like that_ before," Brendon says.

"O-kay," Spencer says slowly.

Brendon studies Spencer for a long moment, then marches over and wraps his arms around Spencer, squeezing quickly before letting go. Spencer's shocked by the gesture, but he remembers to hug back.

"It's pretty late," Brendon says, once he pulls back. He smiles at Spencer and some of the tension in Spencer's shoulders starts to ease.

"Yeah," Spencer agrees. "Time for bed."

"Is it okay if I— I don't want to freak you out," Brendon says. "I just really hate wearing clothes when I go to bed. I can try if it really bothers you though."

"Oh," Spencer says, looking down at his hands. "It doesn't, it doesn't _bother_ me. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?" Brendon asks, his fingers already reaching for the hem of his undershirt. He waits though, fingers just brushing the fabric, until Spencer says, "Yeah."

It's less of a surprise to see Brendon strip down tonight, but it's not less _skin_ and Spencer can only glance at him before he feels like he needs to look away. Looking at Brendon makes Spencer's skin feel kind of hot and itchy, that annoying feeling that Spencer hates because it settles over him and takes forever to leave.

Spencer changes quickly, then he and Brendon walk to the bed together, coming at it from different sides and climbing up at roughly the same time. They pull back the blankets and slide under the sheets.

\--

~~

\--

Spencer wakes, his heart racing and his underwear sticky. He lies there with his eyes closed, cursing loudly inside of his head. His body has that strange sort of sluggish, tingly feeling. He's woken up like this before and it's unnerving each time, but at least it's never been when he was in bed with someone _else_ before.

It was one thing that he could never ask Ryan about. It'd taken some coaxing before Ryan would tell him anything about sex, but Spencer was willing to push with that. He could never bring himself to ask about the dreams though, not even to ask Ryan. Especially not Ryan, given that sometimes Ryan was a part of the dream in the first place.

Spencer doesn't know if he's the only one who gets dreams like that, but he does know that it's not something he wants to share with Brendon. Maybe— Maybe Brendon is still asleep.

Spencer forces himself to pry his eyes open.

Brendon is facing him. His eyes are open and he's watching Spencer. Spencer closes his eyes again, swears as loudly and as creatively as he can inside of his head, then hopes that by the time he's done, Brendon will have fallen back asleep.

He opens his eyes again, and still Brendon is right there, looking straight at Spencer. A cold, scared feeling is staring to wash away the last of the effects of the dream. Spencer wonders if he should say something, or if he should just pretend like nothing has happened. Maybe Brendon doesn't know exactly what happened. Spencer wonders if this is something that Brendon can get mad at him about. He wishes that someone had told him more of what he should expect from being married.

Spencer looks back at Brendon, and waits. Brendon doesn't look angry; he looks like he's thinking about something, his eyes moving around as studies Spencer's face, his gaze eventually sweeping lower than that. Spencer wants to pull the blankets higher, even though he's still a little sweaty. He wants for Brendon to do something so that this moment will stop stretching on indefinitely.

Spencer wonders if he should apologize, maybe that's what Brendon is waiting for.

Brendon moves, pushing himself up a little further on the bed. The sheet, already low on his waist, slips down even lower. Spencer's eyes follow down the line of Brendon's side before quickly snapping back up to Brendon's face.

"What were you dreaming about?" Brendon asks, his voice quiet and rough.

Spencer looks away from Brendon altogether and exhales slowly, staring up at the ceiling. He turns onto his side, toward Brendon, and props himself up on his elbow. The sheet is resting just at the point where Brendon's hips start curving away from his waist. Spencer reaches out with his other hand, catching the sheet with his fingers and pulling it down just a little further, then leaves his hand there.

He looks up at Brendon, then down at his hand, his fingers hovering just above the sharp jut of Brendon's hip bone. He holds his hand just above Brendon's bare skin, careful not to actually touch.

He looks up at Brendon again, then back at his hand, and hopes that's enough, that he doesn't actually have to say it out loud.

Brendon makes a low noise, and Spencer pulls his hand back, rolling onto his back again. Spencer's underwear are sticky, and he's still a little sweaty from the dream. His heart is racing just as fast as when he first woke up.

He stares up at the ceiling, lying completely still. He can see Brendon in his peripheral vision; Brendon's sitting up a little, but holding himself awkwardly, like he doesn't know if he should come any closer.

Eventually, Brendon lies on his back as well, both of them watching the same ceiling, waiting for morning to come.

\--  
  


~~

\--

Brendon is still in bed when Spencer wakes up in the morning. Spencer feels disgusting; his underwear dried to his skin in places, still sticky in others. All he wants is to get to the bath; the less contact he has to have with Brendon in the meantime, the better.

Spencer sits up, leaning back against the wall behind the bed, and Brendon does the same. Spencer is waiting for Brendon to get up so that he can do the same. He doesn't want to pull the blankets away while Brendon's still here because he's embarrassed about what Brendon is going to be able to see.

Unfortunately, Brendon also seems content to wait. He sits quietly beside Spencer.

Spencer finally turns to Brendon and says, "Good morning."

"'Morning," Brendon says, smiling. He's still smiling when he starts to say, "About last night," but Spencer looks away quickly.

"I'm not— I don't mean to—" Brendon struggles with his words before saying, "It's okay."

Spencer nods once, sharply, still not looking at Brendon.

Brendon presses on. "I know it's — weird, us sleeping together all the time. Especially given that we're not actually, you know. So, you don't have to worry, or, I mean, you don't have to feel bad or anything."

"Sure," Spencer says. He doesn't know if that means that what happened to him last night has also happened to Brendon before, or if Brendon has heard that it happens to other people, or if it's a really weird thing but Brendon's just trying to be nice about it. He doesn't think he wants to ask and find out one way or another.

"I didn't know that you'd actually never... done, ah, anything before," Brendon says.

"I know," Spencer snaps. "You said that already." He doesn't understand why that is such a surprise to Brendon. "So, I guess that means you have?" Spencer asks, looking sideways without actually turning to face Brendon full on.

Brendon gives a little nod.

"With who?" Spencer asks.

"I dunno," Brendon says, looking down at his hands. "Just — people. Just sometimes with people."

"Do you still?" Spencer asks. "With the — people?"

Brendon shakes his head, hard, and says, "No." He looks over at Spencer, meeting his eye while he says, "We're married. Even if that maybe wasn't what— even if we didn't— but, anyway, we're married now, and I wouldn't do anything with someone else."

Spencer nods slowly, smiling a little. It makes something in his stomach relax a little to hear that.

Brendon gives a short laugh and says, "I just spend more time in the bath now."

Spencer thinks that is maybe supposed to be a joke, but he doesn't get it, and he doesn't want to fake a laugh just in case he's wrong and it wasn't supposed to be funny.

Brendon must notice the confusion on Spencer's face. "Because it's private in the bath," Brendon says, looking at Spencer pointedly.

Spencer just gives a little shrug.

Brendon keeps staring for a long moment before he blinks and says, "Do you actually not— ah. Not? Seriously?"

"Do I not do what?" Spencer asks.

"I know you haven't done anything with other people, but do you seriously not, you know. _Anything_? Even by yourself?"

Spencer frowns. "We've been over this a million times. You know I haven't—"

Brendon cuts him off and says, "I _know_ , I just didn't think that also included—" He shakes his head, looking incredulous. " _Nothing_?"

"I'm not sure what you're asking exactly, but I've already told you that I haven't." Spencer scowls at Brendon.

"Okay, okay," Brendon says, raising his hands in what is probably supposed to be a soothing gesture. Then, he ruins it by saying again, "It's just— _Nothing_?"

Spencer reaches behind himself for a pillow and throws it as hard as he can at Brendon. Brendon deflects it with one of his arms, laughing.

Spencer points at Brendon, making what he hopes are threatening eyes. Then, he pulls back the blankets and hurries off to wash up.

\--

~~

\--

The next morning, Spencer walks downstairs to find Zack carrying his trunk and heading towards the front door.

"Zack!" Spencer calls out. "What are you doing? Where are you _going_?"

"I found a job," Zack says. "I was going to wait until you got up before I left, don't worry."

"A, a what? " Spencer asks, shocked. "What do you mean you got a _job_?"

"I ran into some buddies of mine from way, way back when I was in town the other day," Zack says. "They're setting up a hotel and they could use another pair of eyes and hands."

"But," Spencer says. "Where are you going to live?"

"It's a hotel, Spence," Zack says, gently. "There're plenty of beds."

"You can't just _leave_ ," Spencer says. "What about— I mean. I still need you."

"You don't," Zack says. "You're married now, and you don't need me any more. You're going to be just fine without me, and anyway, you've still got Ryan."

"That's not true," Spencer says. "I'm married, but I don't have anything figured out. I still need you here."

"I can't do anything else," Zack says. "Trust me, you're going to be just fine on your own."

Spencer wants to continue protesting, but he bites his tongue. He walks Zack to the door, and watches him load his trunk into the waiting carriage.

He stands at the front door and waves goodbye, then goes and sits by himself in the bedroom until someone calls him for dinner.

\--

~~

\--

Spencer is quiet at the meal, but he's still surprised when he's lying in bed with Brendon and Brendon says, "I bet you really miss Zack."

Spencer lets out a shaky exhale. "Yeah," he admits. "I can't believe he's gone."

Brendon reaches across the bed and touches Spencer's elbow, giving him a squeeze before he pulls his hand back.

\--

~~

\--

When Spencer goes down for breakfast, Ryan isn't there.

"I don't think he got home last night," Jon says, sitting kitty-corner to Brendon at the table.

"Huh," Spencer says. It just figures; Spencer is the one to get married, but still Ryan is off having more fun than he is.

"It's gorgeous today. I'm going riding," Brendon announces. "Want to come?"

Spencer doesn't look up from his breakfast. When Brendon says, "Spencer?" he raises his head, startled.

"What?"

"Riding," Brendon says. "You want to come?"

"I thought you were talking to Jon," Spencer says.

"I think Jon has to—" Brendon starts, while Jon finishes, "Tom's meeting me in town and we're going to see about a colt. Patrick's pretty white horse just gave birth."

"So, do you want to come?" Brendon asks again.

"Yeah, okay," Spencer says. Ryan's gone and Zack has _left_ so it's not like there's much else for him to do around the manor.

\--

"I didn't think to ask if you can ride," Brendon says. They're standing outside, waiting for Cash to saddle the horses and bring them out.

Spencer gives Brendon a look. "Of course I can ride," he says.

Brendon nods and smiles. Cash brings out two horses, and before Spencer has even finished grabbing the reins for his house, Brendon has jumped up onto the other one. Spencer blinks, then hurries himself up.

\--

Spencer was perhaps a little hasty when he said that he could ride. He can get onto a horse and move from point A to point B, but what Brendon can? That's something else entirely.

Brendon seems to be following a trail, but it's not one that Spencer can discern. They're in the middle of the forest and the 'path' that Brendon is following involves jumping the horse over a lot of fallen trees. Fallen trees with huge stumps. Spencer can make it over some of the smaller ones, but he doesn't want to risk it with the biggest ones, and he ends up walking the horse around instead.

Brendon never loses him, though, even when Spencer slows down considerably. Brendon keeps doubling back.

"How are you doing?" he calls out, urging his horse to a full gallop as he comes flying back toward Spencer.

"I'm good," Spencer yells. "We're just avoiding the mud."

Brendon brings his horse to a stop, close by to Spencer. "Isn't it gorgeous?" he asks.

Spencer looks up and watches the warm sun filter through the leaves. The shade helps keep the air from getting too hot, but is warm, and there's a breeze blowing softly, spreading the sweet smell of pine needles. Brendon is flushed from riding, his hair sticking damply to his forehead.

"Yeah," Spencer says. "It's gorgeous."

\--

They get back to the manor just before the sun starts to set. 

Brendon floats off of his horse and bounces over to Spencer, holding the reins while Spencer dismounts.

"Is that where you're gone to all the time?" Spencer asks, nodding his head toward the forest.

"Sometimes," Brendon says. "I really love riding."

"I can tell," Spencer says. He groans as he steps onto the ground, his thighs aching already. "I'm going to be sore tomorrow," he says, stretching his arms upward. He cracks his back then sighs softly. "What?" he asks, when he sees that Brendon is looking at him.

Brendon just shrugs. "You ready to head inside?"

"Yeah," Spencer says. "I need about twenty glasses of water now."

\--

Ryan comes back for dinner. Between Spencer's questioning and Brendon's teasing, they learn that her name is Keltie, she lives about five miles east, just outside of town, and she's different from everyone else Ryan knows.

"That pretty, huh?" Brendon jokes.

"No," Ryan says. "I mean, yeah, yes, she's a knockout, but seriously. It's not just that."

"That's awesome, Ryan," Spencer says softly.

Ryan spends the rest of the meal picking at his food and staring off into space with a dopey grin on his face. Spencer normally would have exchanged amused glances with Zack, but he's not at the table with them. Isn't going to be at the table with him any more.

Spencer looks around the table and sees Jon poking Ryan with a fork, sees Brendon turned towards him, his brow wrinkled. He sends Spencer a questioning look, so Spencer smiles and shakes his head.

He looks over at Ryan, then back at Brendon. Brendon rolls his eyes and forces his face into a dopey expression that is a good likeness to the one on Ryan's face.

Spencer snorts, then ducks his head, trying to hide his laughter. Luckily, Ryan is too busy fending off Jon's fork to notice.

\--

~~

\--

Brendon is sitting at the desk and writing when Spencer walks into the bedroom. Brendon looks up when the door opens, and says, "Hey."

"What are you writing?" Spencer asks.

"Oh, just letters to my family," Brendon says.

Spencer nods, then settles himself on the chair and reads while Brendon writes.

This book of Ryan's is actually pretty good, and Spencer is so engrossed in reading that he doesn't notice that Brendon has finished until Brendon has walked all the way across the room and is standing right in front of him. Spencer finally notices him over the corner of his book, and looks up quickly.

"Done?" he asks, setting the book on his lap.

Brendon shrugs, and says, "Pretty much. I've got a really huge family, so there's always another letter that I could be writing. I'm done for tonight though."

"Yeah?" Spencer says. He gets to his feet and they begin the awkward dance of getting ready for bed. Spencer is used to Brendon stripping down now. Almost used to it. He knows now to expect it, anyway. He still feels exposed when he takes off his own shirt, changing into a soft sleeping gown. He doesn't even know if Brendon's looking, but he turns his back to Brendon for the length of time it takes to take the old shirt off and slip the new one on.

"Were you done reading for the night?" Brendon asks.

"Oh," Spencer says. "Yeah, sure. It's just this book of Ryan's. I'm a ways away from finishing it yet."

"Okay," Brendon says. He puts out the light at the desk, the one by the chair, and then they walk toward the bed.

Spencer settles under the covers, and then Brendon does the same. The bed is big, but sometimes their limbs brush. Spencer hates edging himself right to the very end of the bed, so he doesn't bother anymore. He lies closer to the center, and if Brendon's feet brush his own through the night, so be it.

Brendon puts out the light on the bedside table, then says, "Good night."

"You, too," Spencer says.

He isn't expecting it when Brendon leans over, pausing to warn Spencer of his presence before leaning down to peck Spencer quickly. He's gone before Spencer has to worry about kissing him back.

Spencer is exhausted from riding and he falls asleep before he has time to think too hard.

\--

When Spencer wakes up, it's still dark and there is an arm resting across his belly. He blinks, then looks down.

He's lying on his back, and Brendon is on his side, one arm wrapped around Spencer's waist. Spencer blinks, shifting a little. He'd thought Brendon was asleep, but when Brendon notices the movement, he tilts his head up, and whispers, "Is this okay?"

Spencer blinks again.

"I'm not trying to— it's just nice to sleep with someone, sometimes," Brendon says. "I won't— nothing else, I promise."

Brendon is warm against Spencer's side, but Spencer's arm is caught awkwardly between them. He pulls it away. Brendon freezes, then starts to pull back, but Spencer just wraps his arm around Brendon's shoulder, which settles Brendon again. Spencer's arm is covered by his sleeping shirt, so even though Brendon's back is bare, the only place their skin touches is where Spencer's open palm rests on Brendon's shoulder.

Spencer's still more than half-asleep, and he rubs a little line back and forth with his thumb. Brendon's skin is warm and smooth. Spencer just touches this one little patch of skin, moving his thumb in slow circles until he falls back to sleep.

\--

Spencer is overly hot and when he tries to sit up, he can't move.

He blinks his eyes open, moving his arm as he tries to figure out what's wrong. His hand comes in contact with something warm, and that something groans.

Spencer squints down at the top of Brendon's head and stops flailing his hand.

He pats Brendon's bare shoulder and whispers, "Sorry. Sorry, it's okay."

He can't believe how hot it got through the night with their two bodies pressed so close together. It probably doesn't help that Spencer is wearing pants and long sleeves. 

He uses his other hand to push his hair out of his eyes. When he lowers his hand again, he doesn't put it back onto the bed. Instead, he turns his body, shifting so that he can wrap both arms around Brendon.

Brendon makes another noise, but with time it's a soft sigh. He says, "Morning," in a thick, rough voice, like he probably only just woke up as well.

"Morning," Spencer echoes. He stretches out a little, still holding Brendon close. Brendon looks up at him, smiles sleepily, then rubs his cheek against Spencer's chest. He looks happier than Spencer has ever seen him look before. Spencer remembers Jon talking about how Brendon didn't like being alone; maybe it is the same thing when he's sleeping.

Spencer gives Brendon a little squeeze, then kisses the top of his head quickly.

Spencer is hard underneath the sheets, which Brendon won't be able to feel, but he could probably see if he looked down. Spencer can feel something poking his thigh though, and he's pretty sure he knows what it is. Being hard is something that happens to everyone, Spencer knows that much. He's seen it happen to other boys, especially when he was younger. He knows it's something that he's supposed to hide, something that no one else is supposed to know about, but Brendon doesn't seem to care that Spencer can feel him, so maybe it's different for married people.

Spencer is hot from the blankets, from his clothes, from Brendon's body. His skin has that hot feeling too, the achy kind of hot feeling that comes sometimes. Spencer is acutely aware of touching Brendon, the way their bodies are pressed together. Spencer had thought that maybe he'd just fall back to sleep, but the longer they lie like this, the more awake he feels.

Brendon makes another little noise then lifts his head up slowly. Spencer lets his hands fall away, and Brendon pushes himself back until he is sitting. Spencer sits up as well. It's kind of funny, sitting in bed like this, the sheets all twisted and wrapped around their legs. Brendon has a line of his cheek where the crease of Spencer's shirt pressed in. Spencer keeps his gaze above Brendon's neck.

Brendon rubs at his eyes and yawns. "Ready for breakfast?" he asks.

"Yeah," Spencer says.

Brendon climbs out of bed, and Spencer allows himself one long sweeping look down Brendon's back before he busies himself with getting ready for the morning.

\--

~~

\--

"Is Brendon going to be home for dinner tonight?" Spencer asks Jon.

Jon and Ryan are sitting on the small wooden table in the kitchen, splitting a bottle of wine and shelling a huge pile of peas. Spencer wonders if he should sit down and help them, but the table is tiny and there is only room for two seats.

"I think so," Jon says. "He's just out in the garden; you can go ask him yourself."

\--

Spencer finds Brendon lying on his stomach on the grass, his head on his palm as he watches something that's happening inside the garden.

"Brendon?" Spencer says before he gets too close so that he doesn't startle him.

Brendon turns his head around. "Oh, hey!" he says. "C'mere."

Spencer walks over, dropping to his knees beside Brendon. "I was just wondering if you were eating here tonight," Spencer says. "Jon said you were out here and that I should ask you. I mean, not that it really matters anyway, I was just wondering."

Brendon's hands are dirty, and some of it has smeared onto his cheek where his head is resting in his hand. 

"I'll be here," Brendon says. "I might try and have a bath first, though." He grins.

"What are you doing?" Spencer asks.

"Lie down," Brendon says, waiting until Spencer is resting on his stomach before pointing into the garden. "There's an anthill just back further, I think. Look at how those little guys are dragging food that's four times their size."

Spencer gives Brendon a strange look, but he settles in to watch the ants. It's actually quite hypnotic, watching them all walk in a line as they carry food back to the hill.

He nudges Brendon's arm with his elbow. "Why do you think that one is carrying a stick back?" Spencer asks.

Brendon lifts himself a little higher, peering over. "I dunno. Do you think that's really a stick?"

"What else would it be?" Spencer asks.

"A... I don't know, perhaps a food-related item?"

Spencer pokes at Brendon with his elbow again. "A food-related item that looks like a stick?" Spencer asks. "That looks like a stick and tastes like a stick and is probably a... wait for it. It's probably a..."

Brendon laughs, and says, "Yeah, okay, it's a stick. Maybe they have to repair something. What are anthills even made of?"

"Mud," Spencer says, decisively.

"I thought that was wasps nests," Brendon says.

"Oh, yeah. That's right," Spencer says. "Maybe anthills too though. I don't think they make them out of sticks, is the point here."

"Well, now I know you're just making that up," Brendon teases, leaning over so that his shoulder touches Spencer's.

Spencer looks over at Brendon and rolls his eyes.

" _Sticks_?" he asks, pointedly.

Brendon ducks his head and grins. "Maybe not sticks," he concedes.

"Maybe not," Spencer says. They are leaning close together now, and when Brendon lifts his head up, Spencer wonders if maybe he should pull back.

He doesn't though. He stays where he is, and when Brendon leans in even closer, Spencer tilts his head and meets him halfway. It's just a quick kiss, and even though Spencer knows that they're just going through the motions — they're married now; that's what married people do — he still smiles at Brendon afterward. 

They lie on the grass, watching the ants, until the sun starts to sink lower in the sky.

"Dinner, soon," Brendon says, bouncing up to his feet and extending a hand to pull Spencer up as well.

Spencer lets Brendon pull him up, and once he's standing, he says, "You've got dirt," and uses the tips of his fingers to brush at the smudge on Brendon's cheek.

Brendon holds still, watching Spencer intently. "All better?" he asks, when Spencer drops his hand again.

"Pretty much," Spencer says. "You'll probably still want that bath though," he says, pointing down at Brendon's dirty hands.

"What are you implying?" Brendon asks, holding out his hands and advancing toward Spencer, making like he's going to rub dirt all over Spencer's still clean clothes.

Spencer takes a step back, then another, then runs in the direction of the house while Brendon chases after him.

\--

~~

\--

Brendon is still gone much of the day, most days, but now he tells Spencer where he's going and when he thinks he'll be back.

"I'm going over to Pete's house," Brendon says in the morning. "Ashlee just had a baby. You want to come?"

"Um, not this time," Spencer says. He's slowly getting to know the people who live nearby, but he still feels uncomfortable inviting himself into other people's houses. "You should ask them over sometime though, if you want."

"Yeah?" Brendon asks. "That would be fun, I think. I bet they'd enjoy a night away from the baby."

"We could send Ryan over to babysit," Spencer says, grinning.

"That, I think, would not be something they would enjoy," Brendon says.

\--

~~

\--

Most of the rooms around the manor are half-furnished at best. Spencer starts moving things around, making the house into something a little more liveable. 

He finds an upright piano, covered with a huge cloth, in one of the back rooms that they never use. He pulls off the cloth and opens up the window to the room, sitting down at the piano bench. He ends up playing for most of the afternoon.

He doesn't hear Brendon come into the room, so when the song ends and Brendon starts clapping, Spencer jumps up in surprise.

"I didn't know you could play," Brendon says.

"I can't, really," Spencer says. "Just what I remember from lessons when I was a child." Then, even though Brendon keeps telling him that it's his house too, and that he shouldn't worry about changing things, he double-checks, "Is it okay that I'm using the piano?"

"Yeah, of course," Brendon says. "I told you—" 

Spencer cuts him off, "I know, I know. I was just wondering."

"I used to play all the time," Brendon says, coming over to sit beside Spencer on the piano bench. He runs his hands over the keys, then starts to press down, finally working into an actual song. 

Spencer sits beside him and listens to him play.

\--

"Why haven't you been playing lately?" Spencer asks, when they finally drag themselves away from the piano and over to the dinner table. It's just the two of them; Jon and Ryan both are out.

"I just stopped when I moved out here," Brendon says. "I liked playing with people, you know? And then when I got here, there was never any one else around. It's good though: now we can both play it."

"You're much better than I am," Spencer says. "I just like music."

Brendon looks at Spencer for a minute, then says, "We should buy another piano. A better one. We could get a huge piano for the main room."

"Sure," Spencer says.

"Come into town with me next time," Brendon says. "We can pick out one together."

"Yeah, okay," Spencer says. "I'd like that."

Brendon nods decisively. Spencer smiles and him, and Brendon returns the gesture, before they both look down at their plates, pick up their forks and start eating.

\--

~~

\--

Brendon decides that he wants to make it up to the top of the summit to watch the sunrise.

"I'm good," Spencer says, when Brendon asks if he wants to come.

"Are you sure?" Brendon asks.

"Oh, I'm sure," Spencer says. "You have fun waking up well before sunrise and riding through the forest in the dark. I, on the other hand, find that my skull is more useful if it's still intact."

\--

Brendon makes it back with his skull intact, but he crashes early.

It's only early evening when he crawls into bed. Spencer is sitting on the chair reading — he's almost through the book, another one of Ryan's — when Brendon pushes the blankets away from his face and calls out, pitifully, "Spencer, come to bed now."

Spencer looks at him from over top of his book. "It's like eight," Spencer says.

Brendon nods. "That means I've been up for, for twelve plus four, no, five, wait. I've been up for a lot of hours."

Spencer laughs, but he sets his book down. He changes into his pyjamas and climbs into bed. Brendon immediately turns his back to Spencer then wiggles backwards until he's pressed right up against Spencer's side. Spencer laughs softly, then complies with the subtle hint and wraps his arm around Brendon's waist.

"Tired?" Spencer asks. Brendon nods, his hair moving against the white of the pillow.

They lay quietly for a long time. Spencer wonders if Brendon is asleep, if he'd be able to slip away without waking Brendon. It really is too early for Spencer to go to bed.

He moves his arm to see if Brendon wakes, but maybe Brendon wasn't actually asleep yet, because he immediately rolls, turning to face Spencer.

"I thought you were tired?" Spencer says.

"I _am_ ," Brendon says. "But it's too early and I can't fall asleep." He sticks out his bottom lip, making a melodramatically sad face.

"Aww," Spencer says, touching his knuckles to Brendon's jaw. "Poor thing." He rolls his eyes, but Brendon just ignores that part and nods earnestly.

Spencer shakes his head, grinning, and when he settles again on the pillow, Brendon has wriggled even closer, so their faces are right beside each other.

Brendon's face settles into something more serious, and he looks at Spencer. He reaches out and cups Spencer's neck, rubbing his thumb along the line of Spencer's jaw.

"You're all prickly," he says.

Spencer nods, keeping the movement small so that he won't dislodge Brendon's hand. "I'm growing a beard," he admits. "Do you think that's stupid?"

"No," Brendon says. "I think you'll look good."

It's only been a little over a week since Spencer stopped shaving, so the hair is still more like a rough stubble than anything else. Brendon touches Spencer's jaw with his thumb, then traces the curve of Spencer's cheek with the tips of his fingers.

"I think you'll look good," he repeats, and then he leans in to kiss Spencer softly.

Spencer is used to this now, quick kisses after breakfast, a peck on the lips before bed. He kisses Brendon goodbye more often than not and almost always kisses him hello again.

Brendon's mouth is gentle, and he doesn't linger for too long, but when he pulls away, he's still right there, his face on the pillow right beside Spencer's, and Spencer follows him back. He catches Brendon's mouth again, keeping the pressure just as light as it was the first time. Brendon doesn't pull away, just kisses Spencer back, and Spencer feels a little surge of satisfaction run down his spine.

Brendon opens his mouth slightly, and it's better like that, better when they can actually move their lips, better when Brendon's tongue dips just into Spencer's mouth, the tips of their tongues sliding together.

They lie in the dark passing kisses back and forth. By the time they part entirely, Spencer's mouth is raw and tingly. His skin feels tight, and there's this weird urge to — something. Like what they were doing was good, but if they did something else it would be even better. Spencer's not sure what that something else would be though, and when he opens his eyes again to look at Brendon, Brendon's asleep, his mouth soft and open, his eyelashes brushing his cheeks, his breathing slow and quiet.

Spencer watches him for a while until he somehow manages to fall asleep himself.

\--

~~

\--

Spencer's favorite part of the house is that there's a bathroom just off of the master bedroom, and he doesn't have to share the tub with the rest of the household. He spends hours in the bath, sometimes reading — always careful not to get Ryan's books soggy — but sometimes just floating there. 

Spencer is just relaxing into the hot water when the door opens. He's used to it just being him, so he never bothers to lock it. There's no one else who'd come up here, except—

"Sorry," Brendon exclaims. He's all the way into the bathroom before he notices Spencer in the tub. He takes a step back but otherwise seems frozen.

The water in the tub goes up high, covering well past Spencer's belly button, even though his shoulders are bare. It's just water though, and he doesn't know how much that covering counts for, how much Brendon will still be able to see. Spencer sinks down lower in the water just in case.

"I didn't know you were here," Brendon says. "I was just looking for my shirt."

Spencer lifts one hand out of the water, pointing to the corner of the room. "I think it's over there," he says.

Brendon goes and snatches it off the floor, holding it up. "Yeah," he says. "That."

He starts walking back to the door, passing beside the tub. As he makes his way past, he catches Spencer's hand, resting on the edge of the tub, and gives him a quick squeeze. Spencer looks up, but Brendon isn't looking down at him; his head is turned. He squeezes Spencer's hand and then lets go, like he's going to just walk back out of the room.

Spencer watches him leave, but when he's at the door, Spencer says softly, "Brendon," and Brendon turns around.

Brendon doesn't _not_ look at Spencer, but he's not leering or anything, nothing that makes Spencer feel especially exposed. Nothing that makes Spencer feel like he can't ask, "That thing, that thing you said that you did in the tub? That I don't?"

Brendon looks blank for a minute before realization dawns. He scratches the back of his neck, looking a little sheepish. "Yeah?"

"What were you— Like, what did you mean when you said—" Spencer isn't sure how to ask, so finally he just blurts out, "Can you tell me how to do that?"

Brendon gapes for a minute before he pulls himself together. He walks over to the bathtub, pulling a low stool over and sitting beside Spencer.

"Do you, ah. Do you know what I was talking about?" Brendon asks.

"Kind of," Spencer says, looking down at the water. "No, not really."

"You know when you feel, like, when you get turned on?" Brendon starts. "Like when you get hard. It's what you do then, to make it go away. Like, you could— right now, it's something you could do now."

Spencer's hard, but then Spencer spends a lot of time hard while Brendon is around. It's a little embarrassing, but he doesn't worry as much about hiding it as he would if he were around someone who wasn't Brendon.

Brendon is carefully only looking at Spencer's face, but he knows that Spencer's hard, like maybe he saw before. Spencer's glad that he's in the hot water because he's already flushed just from the heat.

"You know that people — together, right?" Brendon asks.

Spencer rolls his eyes. "I know what sex is," he says. Maybe he'll wait for another day to ask Brendon details about that though.

Brendon nods. "So, it's just sex with yourself," he says. "You just kind of, you know." Brendon makes his hand into a fist and moves it up and down. "That part's not hard to figure out," Brendon assures him. "It's pretty easy to tell what feels good."

"Okay," Spencer says. He sinks even lower in the tub and peers at Brendon over the rim, the lower half of his face hidden by the tub.

"Okay," Brendon says. He's staring at Spencer. He licks his lips and then shakes his head and says again, "Okay." Spencer can see him swallow. "So, I'm just going to go now," Brendon says.

"Okay," Spencer repeats. He kind of meant to make it into a joke, but his voice mostly just sounds low and a little rough.

Brendon stands and turns to leave. He's walking differently than usual. Spencer waits until the door is shut before he pushes his hand deeper in the water. He's still hard, harder now than he was before, but touching his dick just makes that aching feeling grow. Brendon said this is what to do to make it go away, though, so maybe Spencer just needs to keep moving his hand.

The bath is hot and the water is soothing and Spencer's hand moves easily. He jerks his hand up and down, mimicking the motion that Brendon made, but Brendon was right: it's pretty easy to figure out what feels good. Or, good isn't the right word, exactly. It's easy to figure out what his body wants him to do. The aching feeling grows into something more like a throb and he keeps moving his hand. He thinks about how Brendon said that he did this when he was in the tub. He wonders if Brendon is thinking about what he's doing right now.

Spencer isn't expecting it, but something changes, like his body takes over and he can't stop thrusting into his hand, can't stop squeezing his dick. He shakes through it while the weird feeling spreads, and then goes away almost as suddenly. 

He slumps back in the tub, breathing heavily. He can feel the water moving against his skin, can feel everything with ten times normal intensity. He looks up at the ceiling, smiling stupidly to himself. When he looks down again, his dick isn't hard any more; Brendon was right, that is how to make it go away.

It's the same loose feeling that he gets after the embarrassing dreams, only now there isn't the sticky mess to take care of. It makes sense that people would do this in the bathtub.

Spencer splashes around until the water starts to cool, then he gets out and dries himself off. Even the texture of the towel on his skin feels different. 

He dresses, and walks into the bedroom.

Brendon is sitting at the desk, a pile of papers in front of himself, but no pen in hand.

He looks up when Spencer walks in. His lips are all red like he's been chewing on them, but Spencer can't read anything else on his face. 

Brendon quirks an eyebrow, but instead of answering, Spencer just walks over and pecks him on the lips quickly.

He whispers, "Thanks," then walks out of the room, humming under his breath.

\--

~~

\--

The _bathing_ thing is pretty awesome, and Spencer ends up taking a bath every single day for two weeks, before he starts worrying that maybe that's too frequently, and tries to get himself to stop.

The trouble is that now that he knows about the whole _bathing_ option, it's harder not to. Like having done it makes him want to do it even more.

Spencer is more aware of Brendon now than ever before, more aware of being hard around Brendon. He doesn't know if it's happening more often, or if he just more aware of it, but either way, it's something that he's started to notice all of the time.

Like now, sitting in his chair, trying to read while Brendon sits across the room writing letters. Brendon isn't even doing anything, just twisting his hair around with the fingers of one hand while he writes with the other, but Spencer can't concentrate on his book. It's been five days since the last time that Spencer _took a bath_.

Brendon's shirt is loose around the neck, and Spencer can see a small rectangle of tanned skin before the collar of Brendon's shirt cuts it off. Spencer can see the shape of Brendon's shoulders through the thin material of his shirt. He tries to remember to turn the page of his book occasionally, enough though he isn't actually processing any of the words.

Brendon finishes and he stands, stretching his hands up and arching his back. He's wearing soft trousers that have slid low around his waist, and when he lifts his arms up, Spencer can see the inward curve of Brendon's lower back and then the swell of his ass. Maybe if the fabric wasn't so soft, Brendon's pants wouldn't look so clingy. Spencer's glad that Brendon doesn't wear those pants except for when he's relaxing in the house; Spencer doesn't like to think of other people looking at Brendon the same way he is now.

Brendon walks over to Spencer's chair. He sets his hands onto the arms of the chair and leans over Spencer. Spencer tilts his face up and Brendon kisses him on the forehead. "Ready for bed?" Brendon asks.

"Yeah, okay," Spencer says.

Brendon pecks his mouth quickly and then pulls away. He tugs his shirt off as he's walking, throwing it over to the chair they keep covered in dirty clothes — they should really bring a basket up instead, Spencer has to remember to do that — and then starts working on the lacings of his pants. He has to coax them over the curve of his ass but then they just drop onto the floor. Brendon's wearing the same tiny shorts that he always wears, except that these ones look smaller than usual even. Maybe they're an older pair because the material looks worn, like it might be verging on see-through. When Brendon turns around, Spencer will be able to tell. If he looks he'll be able to tell, that is.

Brendon walks over to the bed, and Spencer can see him in profile, the straight line of his stomach, the roundness of his ass. Brendon reaches up and scratches his head before lacing his hands together and stretching again.

He looks over to Spencer, who's still sitting on the chair, and asks, "You coming?"

"Yeah," Spencer says, forcing himself to his feet. He sets the book on the side table and walks over to the dresser to grab his sleeping clothes. He changes quickly, hoping that Brendon doesn't notice the way he struggles to pull his pants up.

He turns and starts walking towards the bed. Brendon is lying on his back, on top of the covers still. His hand is resting on his bare stomach. His skin is turning golden all the way down. He told Spencer that he goes swimming in the lake sometimes. Spencer can't see any lines where his skin is still pale, and he tries not to dwell too long on what that would mean.

"You okay?" Brendon asks. 

Spencer realizes that he has stopped walking and is standing a few feet away from the bed. "I'm fine," he says, taking another step forward before stopping again. "Actually, I'm— I'm just going to go take a bath now," he says, ignoring the way he can feel a flush creeping down his chest.

"A bath?" Brendon asks, looking confused. "Right before bed? Your hair will be all wet."

Spencer shifts awkwardly. He should just go to bed, he knows this. It's just— he's not sure if... "I think I need to have a bath first," he mutters, feeling the flush creep all the way up to the tips of his ears.

"Why?" Brendon asks. "Were you out in the garden or something? You don't look dirty."

"No," Spencer admits. "It's not — that. I just, I mean." He crosses one arm across his chest, cupping his shoulder. "I think I need to have a bath before I can go to sleep."

"But, why do you—" Brendon starts before his eyes go wide and his mouth drops open. "Oh," he says, blinking twice. "Do you mean, like... you mean, you want to—" He trails off, but Spencer knows what he's asking, and he nods miserably.

"I won't be long," Spencer says, and starts walking towards the bathroom.

"You know you don't actually have to have a bath to do that, right?" Brendon asks from the bed.

Spencer turns back around.

Brendon licks his lips and says, "Like, you can stay. You can stay here if you want."

"I thought, because you said that—"

"I know," Brendon says. "But I didn't mean, like, that people _had_ to in the bath."

"You said that's where you—"

"Because we sleep together," Brendon explains. "Because I didn't want to freak you out." He looks at Spencer and says, "You don't have to go," holding eye contact the whole time.

Spencer frowns a little, studying Brendon, but when Brendon says, "Spencer, come back to bed," in this soft voice that Spencer's never heard him use before, Spencer goes.

Spencer lies down and wishes maybe that he had just made the run for the bathtub, because he doesn't know how it's supposed to go now, what he's supposed to do with Brendon right here beside him in the bed.

He looks over at Brendon and Brendon stares right back.

"I don't know what to—" Spencer gestures vaguely. He doesn't know if he should push his hand into his pants. They'll get messy that way. It's either that or pull them off, though, and he's not sure about that.

"You can cover up with the sheet if you want," Brendon says. "Or, um." Brendon swallows before saying, "Or you could let me watch," in a rush. "I'm sorry if that's weird. I just — Please? I want to see you."

Spencer nods, slowly. Brendon sounds even more embarrassed than Spencer feels, but when he sees Spencer nodding, he exhales sharply, then smiles.

Spencer lowers his hand to the waistband of his pants, then pauses. He looks up at Brendon, who whispers, "Yeah," and then Spencer pushes the material down.

Spencer has to close his eyes, not that that actually helps the part where Brendon is _watching_ all of this. Even though his skin is burning with embarrassment, it's still a relief that his dick isn't trapped any more.

He reaches down and wraps his fingers around his dick, dry skin rubbing against dry skin. This part is made easier by the bath.

He sneaks a glance over at Brendon. Brendon's breathing even faster than Spencer is. Spencer watches Brendon's mouth open when he inhales, then tightens his grip on his dick, even though the friction is almost uncomfortable already.

Brendon grabs Spencer's forearm, and Spencer lets him guide his hand up. Brendon holds his wrist and licks over his palm with long, wet strokes of his tongue. He sucks the tip of Spencer's index finger into his mouth, which makes this weird feeling, like a tug or something, shoot down low through Spencer's belly.

Spencer puts his hand back onto his dick. He gasps at the first slick slide of his hand. When he twists his palm over the tip, his hand gets even more slick. He's hard like he's never been before, his dick filled and flushed and aching. He briefly hopes that this is what Brendon meant, that he hasn't somehow managed to misunderstand the whole situation, but he pushes the thought away because he honestly doesn't think he'd be able to stop now, even if he tried.

He kind of wants to kiss Brendon, but instead he bites his own lip, trying to hold back the weird sounds that he makes when he breathes.

He moves his hand faster and faster until finally he finds release, that full body rush. He spills all over his hand, up onto his shirt, probably even onto the bed, but it's worth it for that one moment when everything goes golden.

It takes a long time for Spencer to regain control of his limbs. When he finally stops shuddering, he looks over at Brendon. Brendon is panting as well, lying close beside Spencer on the mattress. When he sees Spencer turn his head, Brendon reaches down. He runs his fingers along Spencer's forearm, then grabs Spencer's hand, pulling it up to his mouth again, licking the stickiness away this time. His tongue is just as hot and wet as before. Spencer's dick jerks, sparks shooting up and down his spine.

Spencer lets out a low, shaky noise and waits for his dick to stop twitching.

He breathes in deeply, then looks at Brendon's face. Brendon is staring at him and he's got this wide-eyed, panicked look, his cheeks flushed pink and his bangs sticking to his forehead.

"You now," Spencer whispers, rolling onto his side and pushing at Brendon's shoulder until Brendon turns onto his back.

"Are you sure?" Brendon asks in a tight voice.

Spencer nods, leaning in close enough that Brendon will be able to feel the bump of Spencer's chin on his shoulder.

Brendon pushes his shorts down and his dick, flushed dark red, bounces up to slap against his belly. Spencer's never seen a dick that wasn't his own before, but he likes the smooth line of Brendon's, the way the head flares out. He likes the way it looks when Brendon wraps his hand around it and starts to thrust his hips into his grip. He likes the movement he can see under Brendon's skin when he moves his hips forward, the way his hipbones shift and his stomach muscles tighten.

Spencer lies beside Brendon, his chin resting on Brendon's shoulder. Brendon is jerking himself with his further hand, the one closer to Spencer resting on the bed between them, clenched into a fist. Spencer watches down the line of Brendon's body, watches Brendon pull on his dick. Brendon makes a raw noise, and Spencer tips his head to kiss Brendon's shoulder, pressing his lips to sweaty skin.

Spencer can tell that Brendon's entire body is wound tight. Brendon's hips keep twitching forward, pushing up to meet the downward stroke of his hand. Spencer leaves his head where it is, his lips brushing Brendon's skin. He wiggles closer until his knees are touching the side of Brendon's leg. Spencer glances down and can see the edge of his nightshirt brushing along Brendon's arm. The white of his shirt makes Brendon's skin look that much warmer. Spencer moves even closer until it's his body touching Brendon's arm instead of just his shirt. The closer he gets, the more likely it is that Brendon will notice that Spencer has gotten hard again — _again_ , what is wrong with him? — but Spencer figures that Brendon is pretty distracted, so it's something he's willing to risk.

It's a weird thing, watching Brendon like this, because Brendon is touching himself; Spencer's isn't actually _doing_ anything. There's something closed off about Brendon when he's like this, thinking his own thoughts, moving his own hand over his own skin, and something in that makes Spencer want to touch him.

Spencer moves closer yet, and Brendon's head turns, his chin tilting down, his lips parted already. Brendon's eyes are closed so Spencer has to make that final move to close the distance between them, but then Brendon's kissing him, hard and wet and desperate, and yes, _this_ , finally. This is what Spencer's been looking for: a meaningful point of contact between them.

It's hard to keep up with Brendon when he kisses like this. His tongue is sloppy, mostly, but the lack of finesse makes Spencer feel more confident in the movement of his own tongue. Brendon keeps making noises, low sounds in the back of his throat that Spencer can hear. His mouth opens even wider, and Spencer can feel the bed moving a little from the way that Brendon's rocking his hips. Spencer pushes his own tongue forward while Brendon writhes on the bed.

Brendon surges forward suddenly, their lips slamming together. He starts to shake, and Spencer reaches out, cups the back of Brendon's neck, holds Brendon's head as he presses their foreheads together, listens to Brendon gasp, waits for him to stop shaking.

Finally, Brendon exhales slowly. Spencer can feel the way he goes loose, melting against Spencer's side. He makes a little noise, murmuring something that Spencer doesn't think is quite a word.

Spencer rubs the nape of Brendon's neck with his thumb. Brendon looks up, then kisses Spencer, and Spencer slides his fingers through Brendon's sweaty hair. Brendon kisses softly now, sweetly. He arches his back, stretching, and when he settles again, their bodies are even closer together.

Their lips part, making a wet noise, but they don't otherwise move. Spencer combs his fingers through Brendon's hair, while Brendon looks up at him and blinks slowly. Spencer thinks that maybe he should feel embarrassed now; it's one thing during the moment, but now that they're just lying here, the uncomfortable feeling should come back. Instead, Spencer feels sated and sleepy. 

His legs are starting to get cold, so he reaches down to pull his pants back up, then grabs for the blankets as well. He covers himself, making sure to pull the blanket up over Brendon's shoulders as well.

Spencer lies back again, and Brendon immediately plasters himself to Spencer's side, wrapping his arm around Spencer's waist. The shirt Spencer is wearing has gotten twisted, and when Brendon's hand settles on Spencer's stomach, his fingers brush bare skin. When Brendon moves his hand, though, it's not to a place that is covered by cloth. Instead, he edges his fingers under the hem of Spencer's shirt until his whole hand is resting on Spencer's bare stomach. Spencer's skin feels all shivery, and each time Brendon's fingers move Spencer gets tingles.

Spencer is hard; he has been for a while now. Brendon is breathing deeply though, his arm a heavy weight across Spencer's body. Brendon is just going to fall asleep, so obviously that was something that people are only supposed to do once. Spencer tries to talk his body down. Brendon is relaxed and sleepy, clearly what just happened was enough for him. It should be enough for Spencer, too.

He closes his eyes and tries to match his breathing to Brendon's, tries to ignore the way his dick is straining against the pants he just pulled back up. Focusing on Brendon doesn't help the aching feeling go away though, and it's hard to pay attention to anything else when Brendon is lying so close. Spencer almost wishes that he hadn't asked Brendon to tell him about the bathing thing. He doesn't remember it being so difficult to wait for his dick to stop being hard before he started that whole thing.

Brendon's fingers twitch against Spencer's skin, and he gets goosebumps. He exhales slowly, trying to hold his body still. The temptation to roll his hips up and trying to find some friction is strong, even though he know there is nothing for him to grind against.

Brendon lifts his head up and peers at Spencer. "What's up?" he asks.

"Nothing," Spencer says quickly.

"You're all tense," Brendon says. "Are you freaking out?"

"I'm not freaking out," Spencer says, wishing that his voice sounded a little smoother.

Brendon starts to pull away though, saying, "I shouldn't have asked for that. I'm sorry."

Before he can get far, Spencer grabs for him, pulling gently on Brendon's shoulder until Brendon lies back down. He slides his hand down Brendon's back, his fingers smoothing over warm, bare skin. He trails his hand down and down until the heel of his hand bumps against the waistband of Brendon's tiny shorts, and then he stops.

Brendon doesn't try to pull away, but he pushes, "You can tell me if it's too much. You have to say if you're not—"

Spencer tightens his fingers against Brendon's skin. He starts saying, "I wasn't," but he trails off, and instead he moves his body, holding Brendon still with a hand to his lower back, and rotating his own hips until he's lined up with Brendon's hips. He gives one little rolling thrust forward so that Brendon will definitely be able to tell how hard he is, then moves back.

"I'm not freaked out," he says again.

" _Oh_ ," Brendon says, sounding delighted. He lifts himself up, resting his arm on Spencer's chest as he looks down at Spencer, but not resting enough of his weight to make it difficult for Spencer to breathe. He wiggles up until their faces are at the same level, then he moves his lower body too, draping himself over Spencer. One of his thighs pushes in between Spencer's legs. When Spencer's hips jerk up, there is that friction he was wishing for earlier.

Brendon leans down and kisses him, and this time it's not sloppy or sweet or anything other than kind of dirty. Brendon's tongue thrusts smoothly into his mouth, and Spencer can't help the way his hips roll up in response.

This is the first time they've kissed with their whole bodies touching like this, and Spencer can't stop squirming, pressing up to meet the solid weight of Brendon on top of him. He still has his hand pressed to Brendon's lower back, his fingers digging into smooth skin. Brendon kisses wet and open mouthed. Spencer cups the back of his head with his other hand, slides his tongue into Brendon's mouth. Brendon starts sucking gently and Spencer shudders, grinding up against Brendon's hip.

Their mouths part and they both gasp. Brendon's hair is sticking up in little spikes. His lips are red and his cheeks are pink and Spencer gets that tug in his stomach, just from looking at Brendon.

Brendon leans down for another kiss, but Spencer turns his head away before their lips make contact. It feels good, it feels _great_ but this isn't helping anything. It's going to be worse now than before, when Spencer again has to try to get to sleep.

Brendon shifts so that his forearm is braced on the bed. He holds up his weight with that arm, then reaches up with the other, sliding his fingers across Spencer's temple and pushing his hair away. "What is it?" he asks, softly.

Spencer shakes his head, then leans up again, whispering, "Nothing," before their mouths meet. Spencer will just deal with it when the time comes to stop.

Brendon's mouth moves languidly at first, but it isn't long before they are kissing just as hard as before. Spencer arches, rubbing up onto Brendon's hip. The layers of clothes between them make for a harsher friction, make it more challenging to rub up together. Brendon shifts, turning his hips until Spencer can feel that he's hard too, and then their dicks are lined up and rubbing together. 

Once Spencer gets over the relief that Brendon is hard as well he can start focusing on how much better it is like this. Maybe it's more difficult to actually coordinate, awkward to move his hips at the same time Brendon does in the same way that Brendon does, so that their dicks actually rub together instead of just sliding away, but it's still better. It's better like this because even if the actual sensation isn't improved, Spencer can feel that Brendon's hard, and somehow that knowledge makes Spencer's spine go liquid.

Brendon leans his forehead against Spencer's and whispers, "Can we do this without the clothes in the way?"

'Do this,' like maybe they aren't actually going to stop, but either way, Spencer nods, his nose brushing Brendon's.

Brendon reaches for the waistband of Spencer's pants, but he's only got one arm, so Spencer releases his hold on Brendon's lower back to help Spencer push the pants down. They get caught around Spencer's knees, so Spencer has to kick to get them off all the way, being conscious not to knee Brendon in the process.

Brendon's knuckles brush Spencer's stomach as he fingers the waistband to his own shorts. It seems like he's waiting for something, so when Spencer finishes pushing his pants away, he moves his hands to Brendon's shorts. He tucks his thumbs under the waistband, and when Brendon's whispers, "Yeah," he starts to pull them down. Spencer's hands skim over Brendon's ass as he works the fabric over the curve, and Spencer bites hard into his lower lip. Brendon moves his legs to get the shorts the rest of the way off, and Spencer continues biting his lip as Brendon wiggles on top of him.

When Brendon finishes, he says, "This too," and starts working on Spencer's shirt. Spencer lifts his arms so that Brendon can pull it off, and then immediately reaches for Brendon once the shirt has been thrown over Brendon's shoulder.

Brendon lowers himself back down, pressing their bodies together, and Spencer can't help making a loud noise when their bare cocks touch, and then another sound again when Brendon's hips roll and they rub together. He plasters his hands to Brendon's lower back, but now that Brendon's shorts are gone, it's hard to judge how far down he can reach, and the tips of his fingers brush where Brendon's ass starts to curve upwards. He can't bring himself to move his hands away.

Spencer likes the feeling of their thighs moving together, the way their lower bellies rub. It's difficult to continue kissing, both of them breathing too hard, and the movement of their bodies making it tricky to keep from knocking their teeth together. Their heads stay close together though, and Spencer can turn his neck and press his lips against Brendon's cheek, his neck, his jaw, and sometimes Brendon does the same.

This is different than when Spencer touches himself with his own hand, because it's hard to tell how the build is happening, more difficult to judge how close to the edge he is. He feels close, feels really, really close, but that moment stretches on and on.

Brendon kisses Spencer once on the lips, then reaches his hand down, tucking it between their bodies. Spencer holds his breath while Brendon's hand wraps around his dick. Brendon wraps his fingers around Spencer's dick, then uses his thumb to hold his own in line with Spencer's, both of them rubbing together in the circle of his hand. He can't keep hold of the both of them very easily though, his hand isn't big enough to reach all the way around both of their dicks. 

Spencer doesn't even think before he reaches down to help. His hips keep moving and he's got that same frenzied feeling, like the first time he touched himself and all of the sudden he couldn't stop rubbing. Their fingers are overlapping a little. He can feel Brendon's dick with his hand and also where it's rubbing up against his own dick. It's so awkward, trying to hold both of them together, trying to get their hands moving in unison, but Spencer starts shuddering away, spilling between them, his hips working the whole time. His mouth is pressed to Brendon's jaw, mouthing the skin, and at least that muffles some of the noises he makes.

Spencer lets his own dick slide out of his hand, but he keeps his hand on Brendon, his fingers touching Brendon's fingers as Brendon thrusts forward into both of their grips. 

Brendon suddenly gasps, "Spencer," his hips rutting forward. Spencer leaves his hand where it is until Brendon slumps down, spent, and then he moves it away so that there's room for Brendon to lie on his chest. He throws his sticky hand around Brendon's shoulders, trying not to smear it onto Brendon's skin, and uses his clean hand to trail his fingers up and down the dip in Brendon's spine.

Spencer is sweaty and so is Brendon, their skin sticking together. Spencer doesn't mind though. He likes having Brendon close, having Brendon right there to hold onto as he waits for his skin to stop feeling hypersensitive. 

He can feel as Brendon's body starts to settle. Brendon lifts his head to kiss Spencer quickly, then rolls himself onto the bed so that he's no longer impairing Spencer's breathing. He stays close through, so Spencer just readjusts and continues rubbing his fingers over the bumps of Brendon's spine.

They've been lying quietly for a little while when Brendon lets out a little laugh.

"What?" Spencer asks, angling his head to try and see Brendon's face.

"Isn't this better than the bathtub?" Brendon asks.

Spencer smacks Brendon's shoulder lightly. "Shut up," he grumbles. Then, he rubs his sticky hand down Brendon's back.

"Hey!" Brendon says.

"It's not as messy in the tub," Spencer points out.

Brendon _humphs_ , then wiggles in even closer. It is messy on the bed, their skin sticking together. The sheets are going to be filthy, but Spencer just tightens his grip on Brendon as he starts to fall asleep. They can change the bedding in the morning.

\--

~~

\--

Ryan brings Keltie over for dinner, and Jon invites Cassie. It's the first real dinner they've have where Spencer knows, and doesn't know, just as many people at the table as Brendon does.

Brendon sits beside Spencer, instead of at the head of the table. Their feet brush as the lamb is being served, and neither of them move away.

After the last course is served, Jon and Ryan launch into an elaborate story about the last time they went into town. Brendon's hands are in his lap and he's twisting his napkin around with his fingers. Spencer reaches under the table and rubs his thumb over the smooth skin of Brendon's wrist. When Brendon lets go of his napkin and turns his palm so that it's facing up, Spencer reaches for his hand, lacing their fingers together. He leaves their joined hands on Brendon's thigh, and says, "I don't believe that you _actually_ managed to convince him that you were a sailor."

"Did so!" Ryan says, indignantly. "Right, Jon?"

Jon nods, earnestly.

Brendon reaches with his other hand and rubs his thumb over Spencer's knuckles, their hands still hidden under the table.

Ryan gives Spencer a knowing look anyway, before continuing on with his story.

\--

~~

\-- 

~~

\--

Each day it gets hotter until finally they're leaving all the windows open all of the time, and still the house is uncomfortably warm.

Spencer doesn't know where Brendon is finding them, but somehow each day he pulls out something even smaller out of his dresser.

Today, as they sit across from each other at the table, poking at breakfast, Brendon is wearing pants that don't even go all the way down to his ankles, instead cutting off somewhere that isn't much lower than his knee. His shirt is short enough that it hardly meets with the waistband of his pants. When Spencer walked to the table, coming up behind Brendon, he got an eyeful of Brendon's bare lower back, because his shirt rode up while his pants rode down.

Brendon's not wearing slippers or anything, so his feet are bare. Spencer notices this because Brendon has stretched his legs out, all the way under the table, so that they can rest on the chair beside Spencer. Spencer wonders if Brendon would be doing that — if Brendon would be _wearing_ that — if Ryan and Jon were there as well. Since neither Ryan nor Jon made it home last night, the point is negligible.

Spencer picks up his piece of bread, then sets it back down again. It's only mid-morning, and already it is too warm to eat.

"What are you planning on doing today?" Spencer asks Brendon.

"I dunno," Brendon says. "How about you?"

"Melting," Spencer says, sighing.

"I know, huh?" Brendon says. Brendon's forehead is shiny with sweat, but Brendon sweats more than most people, so that doesn't really mean much.

Spencer pushes his own damp bangs off of his forehead.

Brendon thinks for a minute then says, "We should go to the lake."

"Hmm?" Spencer asks.

"With the water, it'll be much cooler there."

Spencer knows that the lake is one of Brendon's favorite spots to ride to, but he's never been there himself.

"That sounds good," Spencer says.

Brendon pushes away from the table. "I'm going to go get ready," he says. "I'll meet you in the stables in half an hour?"

"Sure," Spencer says.

\--

Brendon comes jogging up to the stables and Spencer asks, "What do we need blankets for? It's a million degrees outside."

"To sit on," Brendon explains. "The ground by the lake is a little sandy."

Spencer nods, then asks, "Which horse do you want?"

\--

It's not a far ride to the lake, but it takes them a while to get there because they don't want to make the horses run when it's so hot outside. By the time they get there, Spencer's clothes are drenched with sweat. He's never been so glad to see a body of water before.

They tie up the horses, then walk down the steep bank towards the lake. It's a little rocky, but mostly the ground is dirt. 'Lake' is actually a generous description. It's more like an especially fat stream than a lake; it wouldn't be an effort to swim from one side to the other. Still, the water is clear and it looks _amazing_.

Brendon whoops loudly. He kicks away his shoes then runs for the water. He runs until the edges of his bizarrely short pants touch the water, then turns and yells to Spencer, "Come on! It's cool here."

Spencer is carrying the blankets and he sets them in a pile on the ground, sitting down on top of it and untying his shoes, setting them beside the towels and walking to the water. He rolls up his pants a few times, but the water is perfect, and he keeps bending over to pull his pants up higher, wanting to go deeper into the water.

Brendon walks towards him, taking big steps that splash water everywhere.

"The water's amazing," Spencer says.

Brendon beams and says, "I know!" He splashes around some more then looks at Spencer sideways. "You want to go swimming?" he asks.

Spencer looks around. "I only brought these clothes," he says. "It might be gross to ride home in wet clothes."

"Yeah," Brendon says, nodding. He's quiet for a moment before he says, "Or, I mean. We don't have to get our clothes wet." He glances over at Spencer and then continues shuffling around in the shallow water.

Spencer tilts his head.

"I don't usually wear clothes when I swim," Brendon admits.

"Oh," Spencer says. " _Oh_. You mean, like—?"

Brendon shrugs. "We don't have to if you don't want to," he says. "It's just, you know." He kicks away from Spencer, sending a wave of water flying. "The water's nice."

"Yeah," Spencer says. Then he looks over at Brendon and says it again.

"Yeah?" Brendon asks, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

Spencer nods, and they start walking to shore.

Once they're on land, Spencer has a little trouble working up the nerve to take off his clothes. There's no path leading to the lake; Spencer would guess that Brendon's the only one who ever comes down here. Still.

Spencer can see Brendon stripping down quickly out of the corner of his eye. He takes a breath and then does the same, pulling off his shirt, his pants, slipping off his underwear. He feels completely exposed, but already Brendon is hollering and running for the water, so instead of thinking about it, Spencer just does the same. He chases after Brendon, running through the water until it gets all the way up to his waist and he can do more than wade slowly.

The sun is warm on Spencer's shoulders, and he splashes water around, then ducks his head underneath. The water is cool and the air above it is warm and Spencer quickly forgets that he's naked in the middle of the forest.

He paddles around, not swimming all the way over to the other shore but swimming around in the deepest part of the lake. Brendon does the same.

Spencer's a better swimmer than Brendon, but Brendon's dog paddle does him just fine.

"This was a good idea," Spencer says, floating beside Brendon.

"I love it here," Brendon says.

Spencer only has to move his hands a little bit to keep afloat. He watches the blue, blue sky and the shifting shapes of the clouds, until he tips his head too far back and ends up snorting water up his nose.

He starts coughing, and pushes himself upright. It turns out that his feet touch, though the water brushes the bottom of his jaw. There's something slimy touching his ankle, but Spencer decides that it's seaweed and doesn't let himself think of anything else.

Brendon paddles over to him, then tries to stand as well. He's short enough that the water covers his nose. He flails around for a minute, trying to get his head above water, but instead of starting to tread water, he launches himself at Spencer, wrapping his arms around Spencer's shoulders and clinging.

Spencer laughs, but when he sees that Brendon isn't planning on letting go, he wraps his arms around Brendon's waist and helps hold him upright.

"Onward," Brendon says, kicking his heels lightly into Spencer's legs.

Spencer glares, then lets go of his hold on Brendon, trying to drop him into the water. Brendon stays clinging though, so Spencer eventually stops trying to shake him away and wraps his arms back around Brendon's waist.

"You have to carry me back," Brendon announces.

"Is that so?"

Brendon nods, his chin bumping Spencer's shoulder, then he wraps his legs around Spencer's waist, crossing his ankles behind Spencer's back. "Yup," he says.

Spencer sighs loudly, turning his face to hide his smile, then starts walking back towards shore. It's slow going, walking in the water and carrying Brendon. Brendon's dick is hard and digging into Spencer's stomach, their wet skin sliding together. Spencer kind of wants to pull Brendon lower, to line up their hips so there was something that Spencer could rub his dick against, but he ignores that.

In the water, his hands slip around, and when he gets a firmer grip, he realizes that he's holding onto Brendon's ass. Brendon doesn't seem to mind though. He's resting his head on Spencer's shoulder and humming. Spencer tilts his head to the side a little to give Brendon more room.

As they get closer to shore, the water gets shallower. It is more difficult to carry Brendon without the water to help hold him up. Brendon lifts his head off Spencer's shoulder, like he's getting ready to let go when Spencer sets him down, but Spencer just keeps walking, lifting Brendon out of the water and carrying him onto the shore. Brendon tightens his thighs around Spencer's sides, helping to hold up his weight.

Spencer keeps walking until they're standing on the dry shore, and then he stands there, holding Brendon close.

"Whoa," Brendon whispers, his mouth right beside Spencer's ear. "That's _awesome_ ," he says, sounding awed and delighted.

Spencer laughs. His arms are getting a little tired, but Brendon's pretty small, and it's not like he's hard to carry. "If you want to go any further, I think you'll have to get on my back," Spencer says.

Brendon unclasps his ankles and lowers his legs slowly to the ground. "I think this will be good for now," he says. Before letting go of his grip around Spencer's neck, he surges up on his tiptoes, kissing Spencer on the lips. "My hero," he says, settling back on his feet and fluttering his eyelashes at Spencer.

Spencer swats at him, laughing.

"You wanna lay on the blankets and dry off?" Brendon asks.

"Mhh, yeah," Spencer says.

They grab the blankets, lying them on the ground side by side. Even with the two blankets, when Spencer and Brendon stretch out, their bodies are close enough that their shoulders brush.

Spencer turns his neck, looking over at Brendon. "The heat isn't as bad now," he says.

"Swimming really helps," Brendon agrees. He squirms around on the blanket, trying to find a more comfortable position. Spencer watches the way his body moves.

When he first undressed, Spencer was acutely conscious of the lack of clothing. It feels natural now, lying like this. He likes the way the sun feels on his skin, likes the way the sun _looks_ on Brendon's skin. Brendon's a lot darker than Spencer is.

While Spencer looks at Brendon's body, Brendon must also be looking at Spencer because he says, "We'll have to cover up before too long. You're so fair still; we don't want you to burn."

Spencer looks up at Brendon's face. It takes a minute for Brendon to do the same, and Spencer starts to flush with more than the heat.

"Okay," Spencer says, starting to lean in even closer. "We'll just wait until we're dry again."

Brendon leans in as well, saying, "Yeah, just until we're — dry," then lifting his chin. Spencer tilts his head down. Brendon's lips taste like lake water, Spencer notices, then he gets distracted when Brendon opens his mouth.

They both turn to rest on their sides, facing each other, and it makes the angle easier for kissing. Brendon lifts his leg up, wrapping it around Spencer's hip. Spencer runs his hand up Brendon's outer thigh and cups Brendon's hip, running his thumb over the line of Brendon's hipbone.

Brendon murmurs something that is muffled by Spencer's mouth. Spencer kisses him again, then pulls back, asking, "What?"

Brendon swallows, look at Spencer. While Spencer waits for Brendon to talk, he keeps rubbing over Brendon's hipbone, and Brendon shivers, his hips twitching forward, though he can't move much more than that in this position.

"Can we — can I try something?" Brendon asks. His voice is different than his normal speaking voice; lower, perhaps. "I'll stop if you want me to, or if you don't like it, or just. Could I try?"

Spencer nods. He pecks Brendon again, then pulls back. "What do you want me to do?" he asks. He knows that they still haven't done the thing that married people are supposed to do, that they still haven't had sex. Not actually. He's still not too sure about the exact specifics of that — Ryan explained how girls had soft, wet places that you could thrust into, but he hadn't been entirely clear about how that translated when there were two guys — but he knows that Brendon has already waited far longer than he should have had to, and anyway, Spencer is hard. He's nervous, now, but he's still hard. Even though he's apprehensive, he's not _scared_ , not like he was on their wedding night.

"Just — lie on your back?" Brendon says, his voice rising at the end to turn the request into more of a question.

Spencer rolls onto his back, squinting up at the sun. His heart is beating harshly in his chest, but he's still hard, and he just tries to keep breathing.

Brendon moves, too, climbing onto Spencer's body, only their faces aren't lined up now; Brendon's lower, and he just keeps moving down. Spencer lifts his head up, looking down at Brendon and trying to guess what he's going to do next. Brendon's hand wraps around Spencer's dick, and then— Spencer does not, does _not_ expect it when Brendon leans his head down and puts his mouth, puts his _mouth_ on Spencer's dick.

Spencer makes a surprised sound, his whole body jerking. Ryan never mentioned this. Spencer would have remembered if Ryan had said anything about mouths, but still here he is, and there Brendon is, his lips wrapped around Spencer's dick, and Spencer can feel his tongue moving. Brendon licks over the head of Spencer's dick, and it's nothing like a hand. Spencer's mouth falls open and he throws his head back, his skull bumping against the ground.

Brendon's mouth is wet and soft and hot and moving and Spencer keeps making these high noises every time he breathes. Spencer digs his fingers into the blanket. Brendon's mouth is _soft_ and when he starts to suck, everything goes all shimmery.

"Oh," Spencer says, stupidly. He's going to be embarrassed later, but right now he's just kind of shocked and mostly really, really hard. That feeling of _soon_ is spiralling down through his belly.

He can't believe that Brendon's doing this, can't believe how good it feels. He chants, "Brendon, _Brendon_ ," untangling his fingers from the blanket and reaching down to touch Brendon's shoulder, his hair. Spencer touches the back of Brendon's head, and Brendon goes down even deeper. Spencer says, "Brendon," because he doesn't even _know_ , and then Brendon pulls up, sucking hard and twisting his tongue around the head of Spencer's dick, and Spencer goes crashing over the edge.

He can feel it through his whole body. Maybe it was stronger because it was just Brendon who brought him there, just Brendon's _mouth_ , but whatever the reason, Spencer comes undone.

He thinks hazily that he probably shouldn't have done that while he was still inside Brendon's mouth. Brendon holds there until Spencer's dick finishes jerking and then he pulls up, leaning over the edge of the blanket and spitting on the ground.

"I'm sorry," Spencer murmurs when Brendon comes to lie down beside him again, but Brendon doesn't seem too concerned. He just leans in and touches the side of Spencer's face. His eyes look soft.

"I didn't know about that," Spencer says, sounding dazed. "I can't believe I didn't know about that. That is good. That is a very good thing, I like that," he says, looking at Brendon.

Brendon's face breaks into a grin, and he laughs softly. "That's good," he says. "That's what was supposed to happen."

"I just— that was really— I mean." Spencer shakes his head, but it doesn't make any of the loose, fuzzy feeling go away. "I really liked that," he says again.

Brendon moves his fingers up from Spencer's jaw to tuck his hair behind his ear. He says, "Good," and Spencer nods vigorously. Because, _yes_.

He leans over for a kiss, then pushes himself up, announcing, "Okay, I will do that now."

Brendon holds himself up with his elbows and starts to say, "It's okay; you really don't have to," but Spencer just ignores him. His body is a little slow in responding, but Spencer manages to crawl down and settle in between Brendon's legs.

He picks up Brendon's dick with his hand, holding it up instead of leaving it to rest on his stomach. Spencer eyes it for a minute. It's hard and flushed and looks about the same as he remembers from the night before. Plus, from the glances that Spencer has, perhaps, been sneaking today.

Brendon's dick looks friendly enough, so Spencer shuffles down and opens up his mouth.

The skin tastes kind of like lake water, but salty too. It's not bad, anyway, and Spencer opens his jaw wider and tries to fit more than just the head in his mouth. He closes his lips tight and tries to suck, which is actually more difficult than he would have guessed, given that his mouth is already so full. He bobs his mouth up and down slowly, trying to get used to how this feels. Brendon's dick is this strange weight on his tongue, and Spencer isn't used to having so much in his mouth. It's hard not to choke when Brendon pushes against the back of his throat, so Spencer tries not to take too much inside.

Spencer doesn't mind the feeling of doing this, even though it's making his jaw ache already. He doesn't mind the feeling, but when he thinks of how good it felt to have this done to him, he loves the thought of making Brendon feel like that, too.

His eyes are closed because he's concentrating hard, so Spencer likes it when Brendon makes noises and he can have some way of judging if he's going it right. Brendon inhales sharply when Spencer licks over the tip, so he keeps doing that for a while. That makes Brendon squirm, and his hips start nudging forward a little. Spencer moves his lips down lower, then tries to pick up something of a rhythm; moving as far down as he can, then pulling up and licking the tip before he pushes down again. He wonders if he should be dong something with his hands, too, but this is enough for him to concentrate on all at once.  
  
Brendon keeps squirming around, though Spencer can tell he's trying to hold his hips still. He reaches down and touches the back of Spencer's head with light fingers, and Spencer really likes that. He likes doing this when he can hear Brendon making noise, and he really likes it when Brendon touches him. It might mean that Brendon is paying more attention, or paying more attention to _him_ , or whatever. Spencer likes it.

His mouth is starting to feel numb and achy, especially the corners of his mouth, which feel raw from being stretched around Brendon's dick. The feeling of Brendon's dick moving over his tongue isn't bad though, even though his tongue is getting tired from licking over the tip on each upstroke.

Brendon gets noisier, making soft little _ah, ah_ sounds. Spencer doesn't know if that means he should try to do something different, or if he should keep doing exactly what he has been doing. He wants to make Brendon feel like he felt, to make Brendon feel the same way Brendon made _him_ feel. He's drooling now, his mouth all wet and messy, and he hopes that Brendon doesn't mind.

Brendon's fingers stroke lightly over the back of his hair, not twisting into his hair or anything, just petting softly. Spencer is surprised when Brendon's hand moves away. Brendon's body gets even tighter and then he says, "Spencer, you have to—" in this tight voice.

Spencer doesn't know what Brendon means. He has to what? He keeps doing what he's doing because what if Brendon meant, _you have to keep going_? Spencer knows that mostly what he felt like when Brendon was doing this to him was an incredible desire for Brendon to not stop, to just keep doing what he was doing. Maybe Brendon feels the same way.

Brendon goes completely still and then his hips jerk upwards and this salty and bitter taste floods Spencer's mouth. It takes Spencer a few seconds to figure out what's going on. The stuff just keeps on coming, and it kind of makes Spencer want to gag even more than Brendon's dick at the back of his throat, but he remembers what Brendon did for him and tries to do the same. He holds his mouth still and waits and when he thinks that Brendon is done, he pulls away and spits and spits and spits.

He sits back on his heels and looks down at Brendon. Brendon has raised an arm, his elbow bent and his forearm resting across his eyes. Spencer can see his chest moving, his ribs pushing forward, and he gasps. Brendon pulls his hands away and looks at Spencer.

"Sorry," he says, reaching out both hands towards Spencer until Spencer takes the hint and crawls over to lie down beside him. "I should have warned you better."

"It's okay," Spencer says. "I didn't either."

Brendon smiles this sleepy, happy smile and leans forward to rub their noses together.

"Yeah, but I knew what to expect," Brendon says. "I would have swallowed, it's just that since we're right outside, it kind of seemed like—"

Spencer makes a horrified face, saying " _Swallowed_?" which makes Brendon start to laugh.

He leans forward to kiss Spencer on the lips and says, "You don't have to swallow, I swear. I was trying to say that you should move your head away, but I was kind of, you know. Distracted."

Spencer smiles, because distracted is a good word. Distracted is something like how Spencer felt when Brendon did that to him, so maybe that means that he could replicate some of that for Brendon.

Brendon squirms over, wrapping his limbs around Spencer and holding on. Spencer resumes the journey of his fingers up and down Brendon's spine.

"We should get going," Brendon says, some time later. "You're going to be burnt to a crisp."

"Hopefully not," Spencer says. He lifts up his head, trying to inspect his skin. "I don't think I'm pinker than normal? Right?" he asks. "I mean, given that we just— given what we were doing."

Brendon glances down Spencer's chest, then looks up at him with a dirty grin, reminding Spencer that they're both still naked.

Spencer grins back, then rolls to his feet, walking over to scoop up his pile of clothes.

\--

~~

\--

Spencer sits in the center of the bed, glaring at Brendon, who's sitting on the chair. It takes Brendon a minute to notice, but when he does he says, "I'm _sorry_ ," standing and walking over to Spencer.

Spencer narrows his eyes, and glares harder.

"I'm dying," Spencer says, miserably.

Brendon leans over and peck Spencer on the forehead. "I did say we shouldn't be out too long," Brendon reminds him.

"You!" Spencer says. "You distracted me with all the— there was a distraction. A distraction that resulted in this," Spencer says, gesturing to his bright red skin. "And anyway, it was your idea to go to the lake in the first place."

"A distraction?" Brendon says, slowly. He lifts one knee onto the bed, and then the other. When he pushes lightly at Spencer's shoulder, Spencer lies back on the bed.

Spencer's naked already — clothes _hurt_! Everything hurts. His skin is fried and painful — so when Brendon ducks his head, Spencer can feel his breath.

"Something about a distraction?" Brendon says, breathing hotly over the tip of Spencer's dick. He licks up the base with his wet tongue.

He licks a circle around the head of Spencer's dick, then pulls off to say, "A distraction that was a... bad thing?"

He licks his lips, his tongue just barely brushing skin, then looks up at Spencer.

"Shh," Spencer says. "No more talking." He pets the back of Brendon's neck and hopes that Brendon understands that to be a signal to start sucking.

Apparently Brendon does.

\--

~~

\--

It takes over a week but finally Spencer stops peeling. He's hardly more tanned than he was before the burn, since all of the layers of darkened skin peeled off. At least he's no longer in pain.

It's early afternoon and he and Brendon are sitting on the couch when a servant comes to tell them that someone is at the door.

Brendon immediately jump to his feet. "I invited Greta over for dinner," he says, already walking away. "You don't mind, right?"

"Um, it's fine," Spencer says to the now empty room.

\--

Spencer doesn't know if he should also walk to the door to greet her. He doesn't want to be rude, but he also doesn't want to intrude.

In the end, it doesn't matter because Brendon brings her back.

"This is Greta," Brendon says. "Greta, Spencer."

Spencer stands and kisses her hand, which makes Greta laugh. "I've heard so much about you," she says.

Spencer supposes that must mean it was her house Brendon went to last week when he said that he was visiting friends. He had invited Spencer along, but Spencer opted instead to have a quiet meal with Ryan.

"It's nice to meet you," Spencer says. He hopes that's a neutral way of not pointing out that he has heard nothing about her.

"Oh, you got a new carpet here," she says, looking at Brendon.

"We did," Brendon says.

"Ryan and Jon picked it out," Spencer offers. Then stands quietly while Brendon and Greta discuss different thread counts for carpet or something like that. He hates making small talk, and he knows he's no good at it. That's another reason why he has hesitated to go out when Brendon invites him along.

He zones out for a while, then tunes in to hear Brendon ask Greta, "Have you still been playing?"

"I have," Greta says. "When I can, anyway." Greta has curly hair and her dress falls off of her shoulders, showing smooth, pale skin. Spencer is wearing dirty trousers and a short-sleeved shirt; he wasn't expecting company.

"Come see the piano we got," Brendon says, standing, then extending a hand to help Greta out of her seat. "You have to play a song for us." He doesn't let go of her hand as he leads her out of the room.

"Well, if I must," Greta says, laughing. She follows Brendon out of the room.

Spencer stays where he is seated, staring down at his knees, until he hears someone call his name. He stands and follows after them.

\--

They eat dinner, and Spencer tries not to think too many cranky thoughts at Ryan, who is conveniently gone for the night.

They both walk Greta to the door.

"You must come for dinner at my house, soon," she says, looking at Brendon. "My husband is travelling for the next couple of weeks, but I'd love for him to meet you," she says, turning to Spencer. "He's gotten such a kick out of the idea of Brendon being _married_."

Greta looks back at Brendon, who raises his hands and says, "Hush now. None of that."

Greta lifts her hand to her lips, saying, "Not a word."

She hugs Brendon goodbye, kissing him on the cheek — really more on the corner of the mouth, Spencer thinks, watching from beside Brendon — then she gives Spencer a quick hug as well.

"We'll see you soon," Brendon promises, waving goodbye as she walk to her carriage.

He closes the front door, then turns to Spencer.

"That was fun," Brendon says. "We should have people over to the house more often."

"Hmm," Spencer says.

Brendon pecks Spencer on the cheek — his actual cheek, nowhere near the region of his mouth — and says, "I'm going to go see how the cleanup's going."

"Sure," Spencer says, then the walks up the stairs to the bedroom, not bothering to be careful so the door closes loudly.

\--

When Brendon finally comes up to the bedroom, Spencer is feeling cranky more than anything else.

"Maybe next time you can _tell_ me when you invite someone to the house," he snaps.

Brendon looks surprised. "Oh, sorry," he says. "I meant to mention it. I guess I just forgot."

"Yeah, well, I'd just appreciate the heads up," Spencer says.

"Sure," Brendon says. "I didn't mean to not tell you; I really thought I'd mentioned it."

"You didn't," Spencer says.

"I've got that," Brendon says. "I said I was sorry."

"Right," Spencer says.

Brendon looks at him for a minute. He must be able to read the expression on Spencer's face because he crosses his arms and says, "What?" in this flat tone of voice.

"How do you know Greta?" Spencer asks.

Brendon wrinkles his eyebrows. "We've been friends since childhood," Brendon says. "We had the same piano tutor."

"Huh," Spencer says.

"What is with you?" Brendon asks. "Why do you continue to refuse to have anything to do with anyone else? You'll whisper with Ryan for hours but that's it. I don't get what your problem is with everyone I know."

"I don't have a problem with them," Spencer says. "What are you talking about? We had Pete and Ashlee over last week."

"We have a couple of people over a couple times a month, but that's it," Brendon says. "You'll never go out anywhere."

"Not because I have a problem with anyone," Spencer says. "It's just that—"

Brendon cuts him off saying, "And today, you'd hardly say a word to Greta. She's one of my oldest friends, and you couldn't even be bothered to make an effort."

"Yes, I did," Spencer says, his voice raising.

"No, you didn't," Brendon says. "You were all closed off and weird."

"I'm sorry that it was hard to get a word in edgewise," Spencer snaps. "Given the way you were running your mouth the whole time." Spencer clenches his jaw shut.

"Oh, that's just a load of—" Brendon shakes his head. He takes a few breaths, visibly trying to calm himself down.

For some reason, seeing that Brendon is angry just makes Spencer feel even more frustrated.

He starts saying, "It's just that—" but Brendon cuts him off and says, "Let's just go to bed."

Spencer grinds his teeth together. "Fine," he says.

Spencer changes into his pyjamas, something he hasn't bothered to do in the last couple of weeks.

When they climb into bed, they settle on their own sides and fall asleep without touching.

\--

~~

\--

Brendon is cheerful again in the morning, like he is just going to let the fight go, but Spencer has trouble doing the same.

They spend a handful of days edging around each other and sleeping with space between them on the mattress.

It's not quite late enough to go to sleep, and Spencer is sitting and reading. He's been stuck on the same page for nearly twenty minutes now. Finally, he just sets the book down.

Brendon is sitting at the desk, and he turns around when Spencer says his name.

Spencer doesn't quite know how to say it, so he ends up asking, "What kinds of friends are you and Greta?"

"What?" Brendon asks.

"Was she one of the people?" Spencer asks.

"One of what people?"

"The people," Spencer says. "You know, the people that you— You know?"

Brendon shakes his head no.

"You said that you had done... things," Spencer says. "You said that you'd done things and that you'd done them with 'people.' Was Greta one of those 'people?'"

Brendon frowns, then says, "Oh, you mean, like. _Things_." He gestures vaguely with his hand.

"Yeah," Spencer says.

"Greta's married," Brendon says, looking straight at Spencer.

"I know that," Spencer says. "But before?"

"What does it matter?" Brendon says. "Greta's married now." Spencer opens his mouth, but Brendon cuts him off saying, " _We're_ married now."

"That doesn't mean anything," Spencer says. "You didn't chose this. You didn't have a _choice_."

"Spencer," Brendon starts.

Spencer raises a hand to stop him. "I'm just asking about you and Greta," he says.

"It doesn't matter about me and Greta," Brendon says.

"It does," says Spencer.

"No, it doesn't," Brendon says.

"It does," Spencer says again. "It does matter, because you'd done— before, with other people. You'd done things. You've done things with other people and I haven't done anything with _anyone_. Not with anyone but you."

Brendon walks across the room to stand in front of Spencer. Spencer keeps trying to move away, but Brendon just follows him until finally they're standing, facing each other.

Brendon lifts both arms, cupping his hands on Spencer's shoulders and looking up at him.

"I know that, okay?" he says. "And I wish I hadn't. I wish that I could have given that to you like you're giving it to me, but I can't, and I'm sorry."

Spencer shakes his head. "It doesn't matter."

"It does," Brendon says. "You waited and I didn't."

"I didn't have a choice," Spencer says, shrugging. "Who knows what I would have done if I had realized there were other options."

"But you didn't," Brendon says. "And, look, okay, with me and Greta? We did very little a very long time ago."

Spencer frowns a little, but Brendon says again, "A very, very little, I swear. At the time, I thought I was being a gentleman, but I mean— you did notice that she was a girl, right?"

Spencer laughs without meaning to. "Yeah, I notice that," he says.

Brendon says, "So believe me when I say, nothing that happened with Greta matters now."

He runs his hands up Spencer's shoulders until his hands are on either side of Spencer's neck. "And, okay, look. I know we didn't choose this," he says.

Spencer tries to say something, but Brendon pushes on, "No, we didn't choose this. You didn't and I didn't either."

Brendon rubs his thumbs up the sides of Spencer's neck, and says, "But if I could have, I would have. If I had met you some other way, and I had been able to make a choice, this would have been what I wanted, okay? I would have wanted to choose you."

Spencer wraps his hands around Brendon's lower back, pulling him until their bodies are touching. He leans down and finds Brendon's mouth already tilted up. He kisses Brendon hard, and Brendon kisses back with just as much force.

When they finally pull back, breathing hard, Spencer's hands are on Brendon's ass, and Brendon's fingers are twisted through Spencer's hair.

"So, are we finally going to have sex or what?" Spencer asks. He can feel the way Brendon's dick jerks, rubbing against his leg when he says that.

"Yeah," Brendon says, breathlessly. "Yeah, let's do that." He turns and walks Spencer backwards towards the bed.

\--

"I'm not doubting you," Spencer says, his voice tight. "It's just that I have some very serious concerns that it is not going to fit there."

"Shh," Brendon says, rubbing his free hand up and down Spencer's belly. "We can stop at any time." He moves his other hand, and Spencer exhales sharply.

"I'm not saying I want to stop," Spencer grits out, trying to remember to bear down as Brendon's fingers stretch him open. "I'm just saying—" Brendon does something, and Spencer gasps. He tries to pick up the thread again, "I'm just— I'm just saying that—" but Brendon keeps doing that thing with his fingers, and Spencer totally loses the thought.

"Hey, don't worry," Brendon says. "I promise I'll be careful."

"Okay," Spencer says. Then, "Gah."

"Right there, huh?" Brendon asks, and he just keeps doing that thing, the thing that makes this _throb_ happen, that makes Spencer's hips push back onto Brendon's fingers without his brain having to instruct them to do so.

Brendon said it was easier if Spencer relaxed, if Spencer remembered to push down, and then he got his fingers all slick and slid them inside, and it hurt at first. It still kind of hurts now, but also Spencer thinks that he wants more.

He closes his eyes, digging his fingers into the sheets. They're totally going to have to change the bedding again after this.

Brendon twists his fingers, and then instead of rubbing, he starts moving his own hand, sliding his fingers almost all the way out and then pushes them back in, only he does it _fast_ and Spencer's eyes fly open. He opens his mouth, and whimpers.

"Okay?" Brendon asks, slicking up his dick with his free hand. "I'm going to be so careful, I promise."

Spencer makes another noise completely comprised of vowels. It would be easier to talk if Brendon stopping moving his fingers like that, oh God.

Brendon seems to be waiting for an answer that consists a real word, so Spencer says, "Yes, okay. Now, yes. I think, ah, I think this would be a good time."

Brendon lines up his dick and he doesn't pull his fingers away until the second right before he starts to push his dick inside. Brendon's dick feels much bigger than fingers, like, for example, _wider_.

"Are you sure this is going to fit?" Spencer mutters, wincing as Brendon continues trying to push his dick inside.

"Relax," Brendon says. "Push back."

"I'm trying," Spencer says, his voice shaking.

Brendon reaches for Spencer's dick. The head of his own cock is still pushing and pushing without actually breaching Spencer's body. Brendon just keeps up the same pressure and starts to stroke Spencer's dick. It takes a little while, but Brendon's hand coaxes him all the way hard again, pushing him past that even, until his body is starting to strain forward into Brendon's hand. His muscles contract and relax with each pull of Brendon's hand, and Brendon works with that, rocking forward when Spencer starts to open, holding still when he goes tight again.

It takes a long time, but finally Brendon says, "See, it does fit."

"Huh," Spencer says. He can feel Brendon's legs brushing the backs of his own thighs, so apparently Brendon really is all the way inside. Spencer is surprised by this, but also more than a little relieved.

He feels full, mostly, and his legs are getting tired from having to hold them open. His dick is still hard though.

Brendon gives a tiny roll of his hips, biting his lip. "Jesus," he whispers, which makes Spencer smile. He reaches for Brendon's shoulders and pulls him down so that he's more fully on top of Spencer's body, so that he's close enough to kiss.

They kiss slowly as Brendon starts rocking, just gentle little motions with his hips. He lets go of Spencer's cock so that he can plant both hands on the bed.

"You," he says, and Spencer reaches down to take over where Brendon left off.

It hurts, the sharp pain of being opened like that, but there's something pleasurable, even in that. Especially when Brendon starts thrusting for real, their skin slapping together loudly, the aching feeling simmers to something less sharp, something that's more of a throb, something that makes Spencer noisy again.

He holds onto Brendon's shoulder with one hand, pulling on his dick with the other, and is entirely surprised when all of a sudden all the tension in his body coils impossibly tight and then releases in long waves. He gets the stickiness all over his belly, all the way up to his shoulder even. Normally he can follow the journey to the edge with some kind of awareness, but something about Brendon thrusting inside makes the arrival of his release entirely sudden and unexpected.

Spencer shakes through the last of the waves then goes limp on the bed. He looks up at Brendon, who is watching him carefully and looking almost as pleased as Spencer feels. Spencer knows he must have a dopey expression on his face, but he doesn't care.

Brendon moves carefully. "Still okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," Spencer says.

Brendon's thrusts are quickly losing rhythm. He finally slams in all the way and stays there, rocking a little. He drops his head, resting his forehead on Spencer's shoulder. Spencer wraps his arms around Brendon's back and holds him until finally his body goes limp and he drops on top of Spencer.

It hurts when he pulls out, and some of that aching feeling lingers behind. Spencer especially notices it when he rolls over to spoon up behind Brendon. It's not too bad though. Mostly he just feels tired and satisfied and like he doesn't want to let go of Brendon.

Brendon laces their fingers together, both of their hands resting by Brendon's navel.

Brendon twists the upper half of his body around, trying to peer over his shoulder. "How are you doing?" he asks.

"'m good," Spencer says. "You?"

"I'm good, too," Brendon asks, laughing a little. "Are you sore?"

"Little bit," Spencer says. "Not too bad."

"Do you want me to go get a cloth or anything? I know we're kind of all sticky."

"Brendon," Spencer says, wrapping himself even closer to Brendon. "I'm good, I promise. It felt good. You feel good. It's time to sleep now."

"Okay," Brendon says, arching back into Spencer. "Just lemme know if you need something." He is starting to slur his words a little though, and Spencer knows it won't be long before he's asleep.

Spencer tucks his nose into the nape of Brendon's neck and closes his eyes.

\--

~~

\--

"I think we need to burn these sheets," Spencer says, standing beside Brendon, looking down at the bed. They haven't had breakfast yet, and Spencer stomach growls loudly.

"We could keep them as a souvenir," Brendon suggests.

Spencer recoils. "You're disgusting," he says.

Brendon manages to keep his straight face for another seven seconds before he cracks up.

\--

~~

\--

Spencer is lying on the grass in the garden. He's shirtless and catching the last of the day's sunlight.

Brendon comes out and sits down beside him.

"Supper?" Spencer asks.

"Pretty soon," Brendon says. "Maybe half an hour."

"M'kay," Spencer says. "I should probably to get cleaned up."

"Hey, so, Alex is back home," Brendon says as they walk towards the house together. "Alex, Greta's husband."

"I remember," Spencer says.

"Yeah, so they wanted to know if we could come over for dinner tomorrow. I said that I wasn't sure what we were doing. And I thought I'd, um." Brendon rubs the back of his head and finishes, "Check. With you. We don't have to go if you don't want to. I won't go," Brendon clarifies. "If you don't want me to."

Spencer thinks for a minute, but it's pretty easy to say, "I'll come with you. We can go."

"Really?" Brendon asks, perking up. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Spencer says. "Like you said, Greta's been a friend of yours for a long time." Spencer would like to say that he didn't stress the word _friend_ , but that would probably be a little bit of a lie.

Brendon just grins. "You can finally wear those weirdass white shoes you bought," he said.

"Hey now," Spencer protests. "Leave the shoes out of this."

\--

~~

\--

Spencer has probably never been so full in his entire life.

He's sitting on Greta's couch, watching Greta sing while Alex strums this odd stringed instrument he picked up on his travels.

"I'm going to explode," he whispers to Brendon, who's sitting close beside him. "Do you think she made that much food because she wanted to stuff me to death? I wasn't _that_ rude, was I?"

Brendon laughs softly, covering his mouth with his hand so that he doesn't interrupt the song. "She was trying to impress you," Brendon whispers. "There's never been that much food when it was just me coming. Anyway, you didn't have to eat _everything_ she put on your plate."

"It was really good," Spencer whispers. "Shut up."

The song finishes and Spencer and Brendon start clapping loudly.

"What _is_ that thing?" Brendon asks, standing up and eyeing the instrument in Alex's hands.

"A mandolin," Alex says. "Want to try?"

"Yes!" Brendon says. "It's so pretty."

"No, no," Greta says, giving Alex a soft shove. "Spencer and Brendon have to play a song now." She looks over at Spencer, smiling uncertainly.

"Yes," Spencer says firmly, standing up and walking towards the piano. "Brendon's going to sing, and I'll play piano. I have been practicing."

"See?" Greta says. She takes Alex by the hand and they settle on the couch.

Spencer sits down at the piano, cracking his knuckles dramatically. "I'm going to count us in," Spencer informs Brendon.

Brendon nods, standing beside the piano and waiting for the nod of Spencer's head that signals his entrance into the song.

\--

By the time they finally get home, it's late.

"Greta _liked_ my shoes," Spencer says, sitting on the bed and pulling off his socks.

Brendon sighs loudly. "I didn't say I didn't like your shoes! I just said that they were very white."

"Your newest pair of dress shoes are pink," Spencer points out.

"Mauve," Brendon says. "More of a purple than anything, I'd say."

"Pink," Spencer repeats. He kicks away his pants, leaving them where they lay on the floor. They need to be washed, anyway. He pulls his shirt off as well, aiming for the pants when he throws it onto the floor.

Then, he crawls across the bed to Brendon's side. Brendon is facing away from the bed as he finishes pulling off his clothes.

Spencer grabs Brendon around the waist and pulls him backwards onto the bed. Brendon makes a surprised noise then relaxes, going loose and letting Spencer pull him to the center of the bed.

"You could help, you know," Spencer says, trying to pull the sheet over Brendon's legs.

"Zzz," Brendon says loudly. "I ate too much and now I am asleep."

"You ate too much!" Spencer says, pulling the blankets up to Brendon's shoulders then lying down as well. " _You_ ate too much. _I_ ate too much," Spencer corrects him.

Brendon sighs. His eyes are closed but he makes fish lips and waits. Spencer whispers, "You're ridiculous," then kisses him goodnight.

"Greta made pie, just for you," Brendon mutters, his voice going slow and sleepy already. "I _had_ to have seconds."

"That doesn't even make sense," Spencer informs him, but before he gets around to explaining why this is so, he feels his eyes growing heavy. No matter, he'll just take it up with Brendon again in the morning.

\--

~~

\--

Spencer wakes up in the morning achingly hard and plastered to Brendon's back.

He blinks slowly, rubbing his fingers absently over the soft skin of Brendon's belly.

"Morning," Brendon says.

"Mhh, morning," Spencer says. His dick is totally poking into the back of Brendon's thigh. He briefly considers pulling his hips back, but instead decides to grind forward.

Brendon rolls around, resting his head on Spencer's outstretched arm and grinning. "Good _morning_ ," he teases.

"Shh," Spencer says. "You're all naked and stuff. It's not my fault."

Brendon wiggles his eyebrows.

"You wanna do something about that," Brendon says, moving in closer already.

"Hey, so, umm," Spencer says. His brain is still slow with sleep, but that just makes it easier to ask, "Can it be your turn now, maybe?"

Brendon blinks. "My turn?" he asks.

Spencer inhales, then says, "Like, would it be okay if maybe I— you know? To you?"

"Oh, you mean like— oh," Brendon says. "Umm, yeah. Yeah, okay, that's, ah. Yeah. It can be my turn."

His body isn't quite as close to Spencer's anymore though, and Spencer can tell that something's up with him.

"What?" Spencer asks, pulling away so that he can more clearly see Brendon's face. "We don't have to. Do you not like that? Is it not— we don't have to."

"No," Brendon says. "Well, I mean. I don't know. I haven't, ah. I've never actually do— that. That way, I mean. I've never done it like that before, is what I'm trying to say, but, ahh."

Spencer grins so hard that his cheeks start to hurt. "You've never done it like that?" he repeats.

"No," Brendon says. He's starting to smile now, too, and he doesn't look as uncomfortable any more. "No, I've never let anyone do that before."

"So it would be your first time," Spencer says, dragging out the last two words.

"Yes," Brendon says, huffing. "It would be my first time"

"Hey, don't worry," Spencer says. "I promise I'll be careful."

Brendon pauses for a moment, and then blinks. " _Spencer_ ," he groans, and Spencer starts laughing.

"It was just," Spencer says, "so reassuring." He kisses his way down Brendon's neck. "When you said that to me." He bites down lightly, just to feel the way it makes Brendon's body go tight, then melt. "I thought I should do you the same favor."

Brendon smacks him on the shoulder. "At least I wasn't making fun of you," he says.

Spencer ducks his head down and rubs his beard over Brendon's belly until Brendon starts squirming and trying to push him away. While he wiggles, Spencer sneaks his hands underneath Brendon, palming his ass.

"Who's making fun?" he asks, squeezing.

Brendon makes a little high-pitched noise in surprise.

"Seriously, though," Spencer asks, holding still where he is. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Brendon says. He runs his fingers through Spencer's hair, then sets his hands down on the mattress.

"This is going to be _awesome_ ," Spencer says, excitedly. "Now, where's that slippery, drippy stuff you were using last time?"

\--

"I could just ride you," Brendon threatens.

"Hmm, that'd be fun," Spencer agrees, rolling his hips slowly. "But not today."

Brendon makes a frustrated sound.

"Shh," Spencer says, leaning down to kiss Brendon quiet. "I have to concentrate on being very careful with your ass."

Brendon laughs, then pushes his face into Spencer's shoulder to muffle the sound. Spencer grins, kissing the top of Brendon's hair, and then starts to move.

"You okay?" Spencer whispers into Brendon's hair.

Brendon doesn't say anything, but he nods and Spencer can feel the movement against his shoulder.

Spencer liked how Brendon felt when he slid his fingers inside, and he really likes how it feels now that his dick is inside of Brendon. Really, really likes it.

He starts to move, making sure not to thrust in too roughly even as he starts to speed up his strokes. It's amazing to see Brendon like this, lying on his back with his hand around his dick. Brendon makes these sweet little noises that go straight to Spencer's dick.

Spencer's never done this before, but it's not too hard to figure out what to do, his body picking up a rhythm that makes his dick really happy. It seems to make Brendon happy too because it isn't long before Brendon is cursing and squirming, trying to arch back to get Spencer even deeper inside. And it isn't much longer after that Brendon tenses, then spills everywhere.

He goes limp after that, blinking up at Spencer with an expression that looks a little stunned and more than a little happy. Now that his hand is out of the way, Spencer can lean down and kiss him. He braces himself with his forearms on either side of Brendon's head, his tongue sliding against Brendon's. Brendon's hands cup his hips, not trying to stop him or anything, just holding on. Spencer feels their chests rubbing together, feels Brendon's thighs open and snug against his hips. He pushes deeper into Brendon, all the way inside, and tumbles over the edge.

It takes some time to get their bodies sorted out afterwards; neither of them are willing to let go of each other for too long.

When they do settle, Spencer can't stop touching Brendon, rubbing his hands over Brendon's bare skin, feeling the places where he's soft and the places where his bones are closer to the surface. He runs his hand up Brendon's thigh, feeling the prickle of hair, then pauses for a moment to palm at Brendon's ass.

"How are you feeling?" Spencer asks. He slides his fingers over Brendon's opening, not pushing inside but just feeling where Brendon is still slick and open.

"Good," Brendon says slowly. "So, it turns out I like that."

"I like _you_ ," Spencer blurts out, palming Brendon's hip possessively.

"Well, yes," Brendon says. "That too." He ducks his head, pressing his face into Spencer's chest, but Spencer can still see the way he's grinning.

\--

~~

\--

Epilogue

"You look fine," Spencer says for the umpteenth time, watching as Ryan fiddles with his cufflinks. "And, anyway, you can't take longer to get ready than she does. It sets a bad precedent."

"Oh," Ryan exclaims, looking away from the mirror. "Is Keltie ready?"

Ryan starts flying around the room, not actually accomplishing anything.

"Calm down," Spencer says. "They can't start the wedding without you. You kind of have an important role, after all."

"Do you have the rings?" Ryan asks, checking his hair one last time, then turning towards the door.

"Yup," Spencer says, patting the bulge in his jacket pocket. He does a last sweep of the room, double checking that nothing has been forgotten, then follows Ryan into the hallway.

"Don't worry," Spencer says clasping Ryan on the shoulder as they walk down the hall. "Being married is awesome."

Ryan nods, but Spencer can tell that he's distracted. They get to the main hall, and Ryan pauses, his hand resting on the door handle. He takes a deep breath, then pushes the door open.

Spencer was exaggerating a little about Keltie being ready. He's sure she won't be long, but last he heard she was still pinning her hair up.

Pete comes over to congratulate Ryan. Pete's holding Pear, and he and Ryan spend more time making faces at the infant than they do actually discussing the wedding.

"Looks like she's finally stopped teething," Spencer says to Ashlee.

Ashlee looks around frantically. "Knock on wood," she says. "Knock on wood!"

Spencer laughs, but he leans over and taps on one of the pews.

"It's still a little touch and go?" he asks.

"It's been looking good for the last couple of days, but if you jinxed it, Spencer..." Ashlee points her finger and him and makes a threatening face.

"I'm sorry!" Spencer says.

Ashlee gives her finger one last shake and then lowers her hand.

"You want to come over for dinner next week?" Spencer asks. "I think that Greta and Alex are coming on Wednesday, so you could come then if you want, but really any day would be fine. With Ryan away on his honeymoon, we've got plenty of extra room at the table."

"I'll see when we can find a babysitter," Ashlee says. "That's always the hardest part of getting away."

"Just bring Pear," Spencer says. "She can eat with Brendon in the kitchen or something."

Ashlee nods and grins. "He's better with her than any of the girls around the neighbourhood."

Ryan walks over and grabs Spencer's arm, his fingers digging in painfully.

"Spencer," he hisses. "It's starting now."

"It's okay," Spencer says. "Seriously, Ryan, everything is going to go really well, and then you'll be married and you won't be able to believe that you were so worried in the first place."

"Okay," Ryan says, taking a breath. "Yeah, okay."

They walk up the aisle together; Ryan stands at the center, waiting for the door to open again and Keltie to walk inside, while Spencer moves off to the side.

Brendon is sitting in the front row, wearing his dressy suit, his hair combed flat to his head. He's staring at Spencer, and when he sees Spencer looking back, he beams. He lifts his hand up to his mouth and mimes blowing a kiss.

Spencer rolls his eyes, then grins and mouthes, _Later_. He looks at Brendon one last time, then turns his attention back toward the ceremony.


End file.
